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Review: New Avengers battles for short attention spans

Despite abundance of special effects, latest superhero saga lacks cohesion

In The Avengers: Age of Ultron, the cinematic cautionary tale flavour-of-the-month is artificial intelligence and its benefits, if any. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) finds out the hard way that when you set up a program built around the credo “peace in our time” (with a nod to Neville Chamberlain), the outcome may well be that it is the humans who need to be annihilated in the name of a peaceable planet.

The gangs all here, reunited from 2012’s Avengers movie and engaging in a dizzying battle in the forest at the base of a Hydra stronghold. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is throwing his mighty hammer around, Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) is throwing his weight around, Captain America (Chris Evans) is playing deadly Frisbee with that shield of his, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) is letting arrows fly and Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson) is doing whatever it is she does, to deadly effect.

With Iron Man providing air support, they finally clear the stronghold only to find that Hydra has been dabbling in a little artificial intelligence and a lot of human experimentation, so now the team has got two deadly powerful Slavic orphans (Ashley Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson) to contend with. But at least they’ve returned with Loki’s scepter, which is of paramount importance for reasons I’ve forgotten from the last film.

Meanwhile, back at the lab — and every good superhero movie should contain that phrase —Tony has been letting his ego get the best of him again by dabbling in some artificial intelligence work of his own. He’s already got Jarvis, his nearly omnipotent computer program, but after the lights go out Ultron is born, in a scene as mystifying as that ulterior dimension scene in Interstellar.

Marvel’s relationship to Disney allows Ultron to sing “There are No Strings on Me” (from Pinocchio) to creepy effect.

And here’s a prophetic piece of filmmaking: jaded moviegoers have watched humans tear humans apart and robots smash robots to bits, so the next logical step is to see weightless, spaceless computer programs fry each other’s superbrain. Ultimate fighting is so last century, don’t you know.

There’s an Iron Man-Hulk battle, a battle at a cocktail party (where Stan Lee makes his trademark appearance), the battle in the castle, a motorcycle chase/battle on a freeway, an Ultron army fight, and a battle on a big ol’ chunk of land floating in midair. This is undoubtedly Marvel’s most combative film yet.

There’s barely time for Captain America to chastise his team for their saucy language (parents take note: first word of dialogue in the film is a naughty one). Or for a burgeoning romance, long enough to pause the fighting but not so much that you think you’re watching a Nicholas Sparks movie. There’s a welcome respite at one Avenger’s family homestead, which made me long for simpler times watching Superman and Uncle Harry out in the barn.

The plot is far less cohesive than the visual effects (which create a more detailed world than ever, architecturally in particular). A schism within the Avengers seems forced. Hallucinations among the group confuse things. And I got lost at the mention of a whole bunch of jewels after Thor’s dip in a pool.

Writer-director Joss Whedon throws in references to Banksy and Eugene O’Neill in order to make you feel less guilty about what sometimes feels like a very, very advanced game of Rock‘Em Sock‘Em Robots. The battle in Sokovia is the highlight, of course, and is why I vote for the name of the film to be changed to Avengers: Age of Ritalin.

Thank goodness for yet another non-human creation who appears towards the end of the saga (voiced by Paul Bettany). In a film that’s all CG flash, he speaks with good old-fashioned substance, the only one to make sense of it all.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron opens Friday at Fifth Avenue, Scotiabank and Dunbar.