There’s a common perception that if guys could have sex every day they would. I’m sure there are women out there that feel the same way but if we’re talking in generalities, males are often perceived as the ones that focus on sex more than women. What would happen if a couple had sex for a full year? Will their relationship improve? Are both partners happier? Most importantly, how do they find the energy and time?
Blogger Brittany Gibbons has the answers and is making headlines for her bedroom confessions. Gibbons decided to venture on a journey to have sex with her husband daily for a full year. She admits that her primary goal was attempting to overcome her insecurities with body image. Gibbon hoped that if she became comfortable with how she felt about her body then sex with her partner would improve.
Gibbons described an experience that many women could relate to. Although her husband complimented and celebrated her body, she felt differently. Her body made her self-conscious pushing her to hide her body under her bed covers while her husband made a move towards intimacy. Gibbons was determined to face the issue head on and decided to engage until the fear wore off.
There’s no denying that Gibbons initially felt obligated to schedule in time to have sex much like a chore on a to do list but admitted that it soon became the one thing she most looked forward to everyday. The short of what she found out was: sexy panties made her feel better, she was able to say exactly what she liked in the sacked (in vivid detail) and she communicated better with her husband. Gibbons also admitted that it was her own insecurities that made her hesitant to have sex and there was not much her partner could say which could make her change her mind on how she looked to herself.
When you enjoy sex with your partner, it’s not something that feels exhausting and obligatory but rather you see it as an escape. While most people may think that a great relationship is built on sex, Gibbon’s experiment really shows us the contrary. It was great communication that made sex great for the couple. It’s also an ability to be your own sex advocate and feel sexy doing it. She teaches us a lesson on acceptance and what you can really bring into your relationship if you allow yourself to have it. Perhaps the greatest lesson is how you can often be your greatest enemy.
By Gibbons facing her fears and engaging in the one thing she feared the most, she was able to find ways in coping with her discomfort. She focused on what made it work for her and although a small part of her insecurities is present, it was the pleasure she chose to focus on centre stage. This was the shift in perception that made all the difference.
Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
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