For those who are trepidatious about leaping straight into marriage, theres now a way to ease into it. Truth be told, were often exposed to warnings attached to marriages much like what we see on the bottom of a cigarette pack. Its difficult to think of marriage without being struck by the reality of high divorce rates, risk of conflict and the financial cost of separation.
I first read about domestic partnerships in New York Magazine where Charlotte Cowles regales her experience of it with her partner. Charlotte and her partner Dan have been living together and perfectly content at where their relationship is without marriage.
Plagued by the system in the United States where healthcare benefits can only be shared through marriage they decided to take the route of domestic partnership. If anything, I was proud that I could provide my loved one with healthcare, says Charlotte. This may all seem unromantic but a relationship is not solely dependent on love and economics often plays a large part in its success.
Weve created all kinds of categories for relationship statuses to accommodate for the ever-changing face of intimate relationships. The role of domestic partnerships attempts to bring forth a legal recognition of a committed personal relationship. So what exactly does domestic partnerships entail?
Similar to getting married, the process is legal and cost $35 in New York. You must share the same address as your partner, be over the age of 18 and not currently in another domestic partnership. At the end of the process you stand to gain shared occupancy rights, shared health insurance and compensation for your partner if you are hurt on the job. However, there are no tax breaks for domestic partnerships.
So what if you choose to un-partner your partner? Well, that will cost you $27 to be exact. You are not entitled to 50% of what your partner has either since this is a lighter version of common law or marriage. No must, no fuss, except for the emotional baggage of a breakup. In Canada, domestic partnership is only legal in Nova Scotia.
Domestic partnership is compromise for those who want to solidify their union to their partner and provide an alternative to marriage. Dont count romance out for those who are in this partnership. Charlotte recalls Dan admitting that he still keeps the $35 receipt from their union in his wallet. Although this form of union differs slightly from a legalized marital union, it may allow us to have enough breathing room to focus on a relationship rooted in love rather than fear of failure.
It may not be the ultimate step but its certainly a next step forward in sharing a life together with your partner.
Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
