It seems that even with the high number of single people in North America, the search for love is still on. Just because people arent getting into relationships doesnt mean that theyre not looking for it. When we look at the number of dating sites and social media networks steadfastly on the rise, its clear that theres still a demand. Lately weve gone from the silver screen to reality TV to get our fill of romance. Theres sure to be drama and heart-warming moments, which leave you wanting more.
In recent news, the queen of decoupage and scandal Martha Stewart has put the word out that shes looking for love. The Today Show quickly caught on and has begun to document her journey with eligible bachelors hoping to win over Stewarts heart. Being set up is among the top five ways that people meet their partners. It usually evokes two simultaneous feelings anxiety and excitement. The truth is were more likely to trust that those close to us have a better idea of what we like and we dont in a partner. Does it actually work?
Matchmakers are not a novel concept and have actually been around for years. Its gone beyond your Auntie Betty or mom hooking you up with the boy at church they think would be perfect for you. Some match-making companies are getting it right down to science such as getting to know what you eat daily. Matchmakers such as Erika Christensen, a.k.a. the love conductor, are trying a new kind of strategy by finding your match on a subway. The key is to tap a varied group of people to increase the chances of finding her clients potential mates. This is smart considering that a large majority of people from investment bankers to artists frequent the subway line daily.
If youre up for being set up by a friend or a matchmaker, the key to success is to stay open and dont expect a spark to ignite immediately. Remember that some people are slow burners and that you might be attracted to someone you never thought youd be interested in. The problem with dating is many people have clear expectations of what they want. If you dont fit within that box, youre out of the game. Predictability is safe but it can get boring. For those who are ready to settle down, predictability is often an attractive choice because excitement brings about a sense of unpredictability.
Its annoying to be the friend that other friends bring as their plus one to hook up with their other friends. You then coin the title of the Ive got a friend for you friend and their single tag along that cant make you feel anything but a sense of perceived desperation. Rest assured that your friends are probably thinking that youre a great catch rather than desperate when theyre setting you up. Here are some things to keep in mind when it comes to being set up.
1. Who is your friend and what does their social circle look like?
2. If it doesnt work out, will this relationship ruin your friendship? Dating your best friends sibling or close friend may be a bad idea if the relationship goes south.
3. Even though you may be tempted to Facebook creep, dont do it. Go in with a blank slate and let the relationship grow with experience rather than through expectations.
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Amy Yew is a researcher and therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
