Highly profitable bastions of soulless coffee culture and harbingers of doom, Starbucks announced it will stop selling compact discs, or CDs as the kids of yesteryear once called them, next month.
But where will I get my Norah Jones, Diana Krall or Tony Bennett duetting with everyone under the sun fix, you’re probably asking. Well, you could try your mom’s Friday night “love making” soundtrack, for starters. But don’t worry, “the Buck” still has you covered. We think.
“Starbucks continually seeks to redefine the experience in our retail stores to meet the evolving needs of our customers,” a rep, or more likely an automated robot, from the Seattle-based coffee giant told Billboard magazine. “Music will remain a key component of our coffeehouse and retail experience, however we will continue to evolve the format of our music offerings to ensure we’re offering relevant options for our customers. As a leader in music curation, we will continue to strive to select unique and compelling artists from a broad range of genres we think will resonate with our customers.”
And who isn’t a fan of music curation, compelling artists and retail experiences?
The simple fact is sales of CDs, and all music formats except for vinyl, have been spiralling for years, and a new Paul McCartney album or Brazilian coffee-infused bossa nova compilation won’t do anything to reverse that trend. Starbucks is simply the frappuccino-scented canary in the coalmine. And clearing CDs off its cinnamon dusted shelves is just part of Starbucks’ long and cherished history of predicting the downfall, if not outright extinction of cultural signifiers. We’re talking to you, pumpkin spice lattes. Your days are numbered, and we couldn’t be happier.
