There was no soft-selling the unmitigated trainwreck in Rogers Arena on Saturday night. "Considering the stakes, the pomp and circumstance, and the quality of the opponent," Thomas Drance said after the Canucks' 5-2 loss at the hands of the Toronto Maple Leafs, "this is Vancouver's worst performance of the season."
It's hard to argue. This was no ordinary loss, and that's saying something in a season where losing has become, well, ordinary. The Canucks crashed and burned in ways no one could have predicted, and they did it at a party they threw for themselves, with the whole nation watching. It was a disaster, which might be why Jason Botchford likened it to an earthquake, calling Saturday night "the night the earth shifted in Vancouver."
Everything in, that doesn't even seem like hyperbole.
The Canucks came into the contest riding a rare wave of momentum. They'd won two straight, which might not be something to get all that excited about ordinarily, but for this team, this season, it was big. Bigger still was the possibility of three straight victories, which would have marked Vancouver's first win streak of the season. With the playoffs still somehow in sight, a third consecutive win might have made a postseason berth seem truly, and not just mathematically, possible. It could have reinvigorated both the fanbase and the players with the hint of an inspired, surprise playoff run. Think 1994, for example.
And to help you think 1994 (and forget 2016), the Canucks came outfitted in that era's sweaters -- black, yellow and red jerseys crested by the infamous flying skate. That era's heroes -- Jyrkki Lumme, Gino Odjick, Cliff Ronning, Kirk McLean and President Linden -- were even invited to center ice to bless Henrik Sedin with their presence, their 1994 magic, like some sort of hockey Transfiguration.
This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased.
The game was winnable, too. The "captain" opposite Henrik Sedin for that ceremonial faceoff was Toronto's Matt Hunwick, which should give you some indication of the skill level the Leafs boast right now. Even despite the Canucks' struggles this season, few tuned in to Hockey Night in Canada's marquee game expecting Toronto, as assembled, to have much of a chance. I mean, the Canucks sent out their all-time franchise leader in games played -- a milestone Henrik achieved that very night in his 1,141st game as a Canuck -- and the Leafs sent out... a depth defenceman. That should say it all.
All told, it should have been a pretty smooth evening for the Canucks, and when the Sedins connected for the game's first goal, it sure looked like it was going to be. But 90 seconds later, as the Leafs scored again to take the lead, it became clear that things were veering wildly off-course.
The Canucks lost. That alone wouldn't have been so bad, but it was how they lost: at home, to the hated Leafs, and convincingly. They were soundly outplayed. Any comparisons to the 1994 team were lost almost immediately. That team beat the Leafs, after all. This team had more in common, fittingly, with the garbage team those Canucks became after 1994. A fitting tweet:
#Canucks celebrating their 1995-96 team but got the 1998-99 version instead.
— Matt Lee (@mattlee980) February 14, 2016
And the jabs weren't just coming from Twitter. An online stream of the the telecast featured hot microphones from the CBC broadcast crew during TV timeouts, yielding uncensored, unfiltered, downright scatching reviews of the team and their coaching. A few examples:
"Willie drives me out of my mind."
"Aren't you just sick if you're ol' Jim Benning?"
Make no mistake, that's just the folksy, Canadian way of saying J.K. Simmons's NSFW closing line from Burn After Reading. This game was a clustercuss and the crew hung much of that on Willie. Even if he can take a page from another Willie and shrug it off, fans are going to follow the pundits' lead.
So now you've got a performance so bad it's tainting the 1994 jerseys in much the same way that the Heritage Classic and another 5-2 no-show defeat, this time at the hands of the Detroit Red Wings, sullied the Millionaires jerseys. Plus the broadcasting crew is ripping your coach. "Willie D just got crushed tonight on HNIC," said Jason Botchford. "Strung up and hit like a pinata." Could it get worse than that?
Enter Elliote Friedman, who dropped two bombshells on the city of Vancouver during an intermission panel. First, that even loyal foot-soldier and fan favourite Alex Burrows is willing to go if he's moved. (Friedman later noted Burrows' postgame denial on this report.)
Second, that Jim Benning wants to tear this mother down, and management won't let him.
Regardless of whether that's true or, say, something the Canucks would like teams to believe as the trade deadline approaches, it puts the franchise right back where they were at the end of the Mike Gillis era, with the GM reportedly at odds with ownership. It speaks to a fracturing at the top that undermines just about every move the team makes. On a night when the Canucks were supposed to inject a little hope into the market and seize every ounce of momentum available, they came away looking as directionless as they have in years. And now they've even exhausted the "close your eyes and think of '94" option.
To make matters worse, reader Crystal, who has been tracking the Crap Mantle all season, notes that Leafs picked the damnable thing up two nights earlier in Edmonton. Which means Saturday night's game was for the Crap Mantle. So now the Canucks have that too.
On the bright side, the playoffs remain mathematically possible.
