Fans of Game of Thrones have been clamouring for Cleganebowl, hoping to see the two Clegane brothers — Sandore “The Hound” Clegane and Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane — face each other in a cathartic battle royale, a sequel to when they nearly killed each other at The Hand’s Tourney.
This is despite both brothers being presumed dead, at one point.
Likewise, fans of the Canucks and Jets were hyped up for Tanevbowl, the battle royale between Chris and Brandon Tanev that would surely lead to blood and awkward conversations around the Christmas dinner table. Like the first Clegane fight, their first meeting on Tuesday was all-too brief, as the two Tanevs were on the ice together for all of one minute.
But there was still hope for the sequel, with the Jets staying in town to face the Canucks a second time in three nights. Alas, Tanevbowl was not to be, as Brandon was scratched with an injured ankle, just like Cleganebowl was undone when King Tommen outlawed trial by combat. And by the time the Jets and Canucks face each other again in March, just like all your favourite Game of Thrones characters, we’ll all be dead. I guess you could say I’m pessimistic about a Trump presidency.
The intro took an unnecessary political turn after I watched this game.
- This game began with an ill omen, as Chris Tanev and Jannik Hansen left the game minutes apart, heading to the locker room with unknown injuries. That was concerning, as Tanev and Hansen are the only Canucks with haps; the team is completely hapless without them.
- Thankfully, both Tanev and Hansen returned after a brief absence; unthankfully, Hansen left for good in the second period with an apparent knee injury after a late, dirty, knee-on-knee hit by Matthew Perreault, the type of hit that should result in a suspension, but, let’s be honest, probably won’t. It was insanely late, illegal, and resulted in an injury: prove me wrong, Department of Player Safety.
- The hit did give Hansen an opportunity to go full honey badger, dropping his gloves and beckoning to Perreault with both hands in an unmistakeable “Come at me bro!” gesture. It was the only good moment of the game.
"Come at me bro"#Canucks pic.twitter.com/Io8I7bCPBc
— Ryan Biech (@ryanbiech) December 23, 2016
- Okay, okay, so the Canucks scoring the opening goal was pretty good too. Loui Eriksson made a savvy play, skating in on Jacob Trouba like he was going to throw a hit, then made like Manu Ginobili and eurostepped over to the boards to pick off Trouba’s attempted pass behind the net. Then, also like Ginobili, he made a perfect pass to Markus Granlund for the bucket.
- The Jets’ power play is nearly as bad as the Canucks’, so when the Jets started to get some momentum after the goal, Nikita Tryamkin smartly took a penalty, then Daniel quickly took another one right after that was killed. Including the delayed penalty, that gave the Jets nearly five minutes straight with the man advantage. The Jets didn’t score, they killed all their momentum, and the Canucks took the lead into the intermission. Exactly as planned!
- Bo Horvat didn’t have his best game, but he’s still capable of creatio ex nihilo, nearly beating Michael Hutchinson with a wicked wrister late in the first, than making like a bull on the penalty kill, with Bryan Little playing the part of the china shop. Horvat thundered through Little, creating a great scoring chance and drawing a penalty.
- I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but John Shorthouse has been utterly savage this season. As an example, back in November he ripped Antti Niemi for his receding hairline. During this game, after a cute segment pointing out that Jannik Hansen used to play against Nikolaj Ehlers’ dad, Heinz, in Denmark, John Garrett pointed out that Dave Tomlinson also played against Heinz. Shorty’s response: “So he’s also old.” Savage AF.
- The Jets tied the game on an uncharacteristic error by Chris Tanev. As the Jets rushed up ice, Tanev moved to close off the wing, completely missing Ehlers charging up the middle. That forced Sbisa over to cover Ehlers leaving Patrik Laine, like The Februarys, with all the time in the world and he rifled his shot short side on Ryan Miller.
- Like a man trying to drive his truck across a frozen lake before the temperature has dropped low enough, Henrik Sedin made a poor decision to go cross-ice on the Jets’ second goal. With Tanev charging the net and just Ben Hutton at the blue line, Henrik tried to thread several different needles at once and had his pass picked off. Ehlers went the other way on an odd-man rush and fired a shot short side.
- Ehlers scored again to give the Jets a 3-1 lead, scoring a rare power play goal for the Jets by coming out from the goal line and roofing the puck short side as soon as Miller cheated off his post. That’s better than Miller cheating on his post, as that would mean he’s married to his post and that’s taking the whole eccentric goaltender thing a little too far.
- You might have noticed a theme to those goals: Miller getting beat on the short side. Miller was a controversial choice to start this game, as Jacob Markstrom played so well on Tuesday against the Jets. Miller didn’t exactly play poorly, but it’s troubling seeing him get beat three times on the short side in a row. It suggests the Jets might have seen something in their scouting report.
- I wouldn’t blame Miller at all for the Jets’ fourth goal, which would be shrouded with controversy in a closer game. Miller first made an amazing save, stretching out his left pad to pin the puck against the post. The whistle seemed to blow just prior to Little jamming the puck over the line, but a quick call to the video review crew in Toronto confirmed it as a good goal.
- But then Desjardins challenged for goaltender interference and, there it was, Little pushing Miller’s pad out of the way before putting the puck in. It was absolutely goaltender interference. But the refs returned even faster the second time, as if Toronto barely looked at it. “Yeah, we saw this one already. Good goal. Give us a new one.”
- One might argue that the controversial goal was consequential because it killed any chance at a Canuck comeback, but it was, at most, an accessory to murder. The real killer was the whopping two shots on goal the Canucks managed in the third period up to that point, while the over 5 minutes of ice time given to Michael Chaput in the third period was an accomplice.
- Seriously, the Canucks didn’t get a single shot on goal with Chaput on the ice during this game; why was he on the ice late in the third period with the game still within reach? Even considering the injury to Hansen and that the Canucks have another game Friday night, this was a baffling choice, like wearing your least comfortable pair of underwear when you still have other pairs clean. Don’t do that to yourself.
