Henrik Sedin was honoured before the game for his 1,000 NHL points, and awarded a crystal trophy. I’m not too macho to admit the tribute video to #33 resulted in a few happy tears.
Those weren’t the only ones of the day, as a certain gritty winger returned to the lineup. This meant that Vancouver suddenly had scoring line options again, the team had much-needed grit and speed, and of course that balance was restored to the Force.
Yep, I’m talking about Jannik “Jan Solo” Hansen.
That theme’s as good as any, let’s run with it! I think it’s fair to say the Minnesota Wild is the evil empire, with their Western Conference lead. Plus, how else could a former low-scoring team like that become an offensive dynamo overnight? They definitely embraced the Dark Side. And, since Vancouver has heroic twins and currently contains more snow than Hoth, the Canucks are obviously the Rebellion.
I’m pretty sure this game followed the exact narrative arc as Star Wars. Didn’t it? I can’t remember. Looks like I’m re-watching them all now that I’ve watched this game.
- Minnesota coach / evil emperor Bruce Boudreau opted to play rookie Alex Tuch on the first line in his first ever NHL game. Allegedly. Vancouver fans know that playing a rookie in a scoring role basically never happens here, so why would it happen on other teams? I think we can safely file this rumour under fake news.
- The first period started out Fast & Furious, with chances at both ends. As the frame progressed, Vancouver seemed unable to keep up with Minnesota’s nitrous oxide pace, and began making classic mistakes when pursuing the lead against this kind of team: drifting out of position, looking tired (even exhausted), and being unable to muster that big clutch play.
- Mike Reilly gave Minnesota the lead about 13 minutes into the game. The defender was fed by Christian Folin, then skated up and fired a hard shot that Chris Tanev was unable to block. What should have been an easy save went right through Ryan Miller. Reilly was given too much room. I suggest the Canucks consider hiring Stephen Hawking as a consultant, since Vancouver seems to lack understanding of the importance of time and space.
- It didn’t take Hansen long to make an impact. Near the end of the first, the crafty Dane claimed the puck and dashed right into a crowd of Minnesota defenders. (Almost like the middle of the ice is where you score from or something.) His shot didn’t get through, but a rebound found Brandon Sutter, who beat Devan Dubnyk cleanly. This tying goal, like a vacuum cleaner with a faulty power cable, didn’t suck.
- Moments later, Mathew “The D with one T” Dumba ripped around behind the net, passed to Jason Zucker, who spied Mikael Granlund standing clean and free at the side of the net. Mikael popped home one of the easier tallies of his career. This goal, like the new Dyson you bought to replace your broken vacuum, efficiently removed dirt from both carpets and hard surfaces. Also, it sucked.
- The fourth line had a pretty good game. A highlight: in the first period, a rushing Jack Skille fed Brendan Gaunce, who was barely denied and crashed into the net. Gaunce might not be good at filling the net with pucks, but he’s awesome at filling it with Gaunces.
- That rush led drew a penalty against Tyler Graovac, but Mikael Granlund merely waved his hand and said, "this isn’t the momentum shift you are looking for." The Minnesota forward and obvious Sith agent (I mean, just look at him) froze my heart in carbonite, streaking into the Canuck’s zone and firing a laser that beat Miller cleanly for a shorthanded tally, his second goal of the game.
- After a giveaway by Mike Reilly, Bo Horvat and Alex Burrows were sent off to the races. Force-sensing that Dubnyk expected the pass, Bo shot perfectly, going post and in with the most beautiful “ping” you’ve ever heard. He’s obviously been bullseyeing womp rats in his T-16 back in Tatooine, er, Rodney Ontario. Same thing. The goal filled me with A New Hope.
- Then, predictably, the Empire struck back less than a minute after Horvat’s goal. Zack Parise beat Ryan Miller from way out as the Canucks were attempting to clear. Miller had a few big saves but generally looked off, particularly on Wild goals numbers one and three.
- Mikael Granlund continued his dominant game. He skated in, faked a shot which caused Miller to bite, and sent a no-look pass to Mikko Koivu for a tap-in goal. Koivu and countryman Granlund have clearly been playing lots of Mortal Kombat, because after passing Mikael shouted, “Finnish him!” Koivu nailed the button combinations to murder Vancouver's hopes and dreams.
- The Rebellion was not willing to just sit back and let their planets get blown up. Sutter scored his second of the match, and the Canucks came roaring back with that familiar, triumphant refrain. You know the one. *shudder*. It was quite the goal though, four Canucks getting in on the action. Troy Stecher ripped the puck on net, and then it was passed (mid-air) from Daniel Sedin to Sven Baertschi, and finally to Sutter, who baseballed it in past Dubnyk. (Note: the actual Garth Brooks song is not available on Youtube, I suspect because it is against nature.)
- Vancouver tried to slow things down in the third period, but to no avail. Jason Zucker used his skate to push the puck to Mikael Granlund, who slapped it on net and off Philip Larsen’s stick for the hat trick goal. You knew that third goal was going to come. He was fulfilling his destiny.
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There was little to redeem the third period, as the Wild shut down Vancouver effectively. A highlight was watching Nikita Tryamkin attempt to beat the snot out of Nino Niederreiter. The zebras pulled them apart before they could get to it, perhaps because they heard Nino shrieking in abject fear. The argument was about either Nino’s aggressive netfront presence, or how irritating his name is to spell.
Tryamkin mad.#Canucks pic.twitter.com/e98RTKJi3I
— Ryan Biech (@ryanbiech) February 5, 2017 - That was it for action. A nearly healthy Canucks team was able to hang with the Wild for a while, but quickly faded under their barrage of speed and skill. The game was a bit closer than the score indicates (take away two soft goals and it’s a different can of worms) but Minnesota took a stranglehold into the third period. To even compete for a wild card spot, Vancouver needs to find a way to sustain the pressure they had for the first 15 minutes.
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Anyway, let's wrap up the narrative. Remember when the Empire beat the Rebellion and totally didn’t have their two Death Stars blown up? No? Well according to White House spokesperson Sean Spicer, that’s what happened, period. I can’t stand the Wild, so I won’t be embracing the Dark Side, but tonight I will embrace the darkness. Sing us out, Simon & Garfunkel.
