Before we begin, let’s take a moment of silence for Gary Doak, who recently passed at the age of 71. Although he is known for his time with the Boston Bruins, he was a legendary part of the Vancouver Canucks’ very first roster in 1970. He will be missed. Thank you.
There are only three signatures in my life that have filled me with a sense of embarrassingly rabid excitement:
- My wife signs our marriage certificate
- The bank signs to approve our mortgage loan*
- Brock Boeser signs with the Vancouver Canucks
(This list is in reverse order of specialness).
YESTERDAY: Brock Boeser’s North Dakota Fighting Hawks suffered a heartbreaking double overtime loss to the Boston University Eagles, to be knocked out of the NCAA tournament at home. If I were Boeser, I would have curled way up into an Iron Fist & ice cream marathon, slinking into a pathetic blob the likes of which my friends and family had never seen.
TODAY: Since Boeser is not me, he picked himself up by his skatestraps, signed with the Canucks, played his first NHL game at his home stadium in front of everyone he loves, and scored the game-winning goal to boot.
Yes, the Vancouver Canucks played the Minnesota Wild, and it was one of those very special games, made extra special because I watched it.
- Today’s game is brought to you by the letter “B”. The three stars were Boeser, Bachman and Boucher. Baertschi was in the heart of the action too, with Bo, Ben and Brandon not far behind. Now all we need is Bulis himself and we’ve got a brew goin’.
- The first period was mostly uneventful, with the Wild owning the puck and Zach Parise being a general nuisance. My earliest memory of Parise is from the 2010 Olympic gold medal game, when he was also being a nuisance. And to make matters worse, even as I write this article, my computer keeps autocorrecting his name to “Praise,” which is infuriating.
- Parise and co. continued to dominate the first half of the period, with backup goaltender Richard Bachman keeping Vancouver in the game. Pad save? You betcha. Other pad save? Done deal. Glove save? Fine, but only if I can make it amazing. Bachman was a marvel, keeping the first period scoreless, despite several Minnesota opportunities.
- Midway through the first, Vancouver’s B’s got started. (Sven) Baertschi took a pass all alone in front of the net, but caught a piece of the crossbar. Shortly after that, Brandon (Sutter) stole it right off of Parise’s stick for a breakaway, but couldn’t put it past Darcy Kuemper’s glove hand.
- With 19 seconds to go in the period, Minnesota’s Ryan Suter took a penalty for slashing Bo (Horvat) The period ended 0-0, but the B-hive was stirring…
- On to the second period, where the ‘Nucks began swarming! The period opened with Vancouver still on the power play, and fortunately (Reid) Boucher decided to score early, rather than drag it out. It was a pretty chippy, choppy play in front of the Minnesota net, with the puck bouncing around like 9 year-old me without my Ritalin**. But eventually it got from Troy Stecher to Horvat, to Boucher, who hammered it home. 1-0 Canucks.
- With the Canucks in the lead, play continued as usual… until it didn’t. Just over five minutes into the period, Boucher lasered a wrist shot from the faceoff circle. The puck tinked off the crossbar with enough force to send it back to the blue line, and nobody thought anything of it. All of a sudden, the stadium horn blared and play was suspended as the refs went to the videotape and got on the phone to Toronto. As it turns out, unbeknownst even to Boucher himself, his laser shot had ripped a hole in the fabric of space-time, bounced off the back post inside the net, and was retroactively declared a goal. This would end up being Boucher’s fourth goal in three games against the Wild (while playing for three different teams). So there. 2-0 Canucks.
- Halfway through the second, Henrik Sedin got a penalty for cross-checking and I looked up from my Honeycomb cereal***. I began to worry when the announcer informed me that the Minnesota Wild has the best power play at home in the entire NHL. But then he went on to say that they’re 28th in the league on the road. I found that very odd. How do you rank 1st and 28th concurrently? It’s like if Usain Bolt was the fastest sprinter in Jamaica, but then when he got to Brazil he started shuffling sideways like a crab or something. Doesn’t add up. So I went back to my Honeycomb, trusting that my B’s wouldn’t let me down.
- And they didn’t! Bachman killed the penalty like a champ, and as soon as Henrik was out of the box, Baertschi kicked it to Bo, who put a shot on net and left the ’bound for Brock Boeser. It really was like watching a smoothly efficient (if unorthodox) hive of workers. It started in the defensive zone, where Baertschi broke his stick, blocking a shot. The puck fell near his feet and somehow he was able to make a backheel pass right onto Boeser’s stick as he gained momentum at the red line. Boeser flung it forward to Bo, who made a nifty move, but couldn’t put it past Kuemper. The rebound sat in the crease for a split-second, and while everyone else looked at it, Boeser slammed it in the back of the net for his first NHL goal. So sweet, that honey. 3-0 Canucks.
- [SIDENOTE: Just so you are aware, I will now spend the rest of this article listening to bee-themed music while I write].
- If this were seven years ago, I would be laughing. 3-0. Game over, right? Unfortunately, we Canucks fans know better. I wouldn’t feel confident until there was at least an 8-point differential. So I knew we three goals in one period wasn’t going to cut it; I needed a fourth. Enter: Jack Skille. Neither of his initials are “B”, which would eventually bee his downfall. But not until he made his presence known. There’s not much to say about the play, really. Brandon (Sutter) wins the faceoff in the offensive zone, Skille throws it stick-side on Kuemper. Classic Skille(r) Bee Sting.
- Shortly after soaring to such great heights, Skille got his wings clipped by a tough hit form Minnesota centre Charlie Coyle. Reports suggest that it is an ankle injury, which makes sense as Jack Skille has a family history of frail bones and weak joints. Many people don’t know this, but his father - Jack Sr. - actually changed their family name from Skellington to give his son a better life in America.
- Chris Tanev, of all people, ended up getting a roughing penalty during the ensuing scrum, which is the clearest possible sign that this game was actually just a mass hallucination.
- The third period consisted of only three elements:
- Penalties on both sides, with Vancouver looking surprisingly confident on both the power play and penalty kill.
- Reid Boucher trying desperately to attain his first career hat trick.
- The Canucks inevitably giving up two goals in the final three minutes, causing a minor panic in my heart. It wasn’t a heart attack, per se, more like a heart alert.
- Expounding on the penalties, Alex Edler slashed Martin Hanzal needlessly and took two minutes for it. During those two minutes, Niederreiter took two of his own for tripping and evened the play to four-on-four.
- Boucher was a banshee on the ice, screaming shot after shot on net, but without success.
- Then came the heart alert. With only three minutes left in the game, Minnesota’s Jared Spurgeon dug the puck out of the corner and fed Ryan Suter at the point. Suter made use of a nice screen in front and finally beat Bachman high on the blocker-side. 4-1 Canucks. Less than two minutes later, Matt Dumba dumped it in from the red line, and the puck took an extremely convenient bounce off the boards, right onto the waiting stick of Eric Staal, who put it home for the Wild’s second and final goal. 4-2 Canucks.
- In the end, Vancouver took home the win, and will be smelling the roses until their next game, tomorrow night against Winnipeg. Until then, you’d better beelieve, the buzz will all bee surrounding Brock Boeser and his sweet, sweet debut.
*I do not actually have a mortgage, nor do I own a home. My wife and I rent an apartment with a roommate because we are poor.
**I have never taken Ritalin, nor any other ADHD medication or central nervous system stimulants. If anything, I was a rather quiet boy.
***I was not, in fact, eating Honeycomb cereal. I was eating cheese and crackers, with an apple.****
****There was no apple.
