The NHL has released the list of protected players from every team for the expansion draft. By Wednesday morning, the Las Vegas Knights will have selected a player from each team.
There were a number of surprises among the players protected and exposed, like the Red Wings inexplicably protecting 33-year-old Jimmy Howard over 25-year-old Petr Mrazek, but there were no surprises on the Canucks’ list. As expected, the Canucks chose to protect Brandon Sutter over Brendan Gaunce and Reid Boucher, which should tell you just how terrible the Canucks’ list truly is.
Yes, the Knights have their pick of the guy who scored zero goals in 57 games or the guy who was waived three times last season. Or heck, they could take Luca Sbisa, who is still terrible, or Derek Dorsett, who’s coming off neck surgery.
A lot of people have put a lot of thought into how the Knights can put together the best possible lineup. Presumably the Knights’ front office is doing the same thing. But looking at the Canucks’ paltry offerings made me wonder, what is the worst possible team that the Knights could draft?
So I jumped over to Cap Friendly’s expansion draft tool and went to work.
The biggest challenge in picking a terrible team is meeting the minimum requirements set by the league. The Knights have to pick at least 14 forwards, 9 defencemen, and 3 goaltenders. They have to select at least 20 players under contract for the 2017-18 season and they must have a minimum cap hit of $43.8 million.
Those last two requirements are the tough ones. It turns out that a most bad players are not signed through next season and aren’t being paid much. But I managed it, putting together a truly execrable lineup with a 2017-18 cap hit of $43.825 million, just over the cap floor. Let’s run through the lineup.
FORWARDS
There was one forward that I knew I wanted for these Copper Knights — Tom Sestito from the Pittsburgh Penguins — but there were a few other forwards not signed through next season that I had to pick up: Dwight King from the Montreal Canadiens, Zach Stortini from the San Jose Sharks, and 40-year-old former enforcer Eric Boulton, who was listed as available from the New York Islanders.
At the top of the food chain for cap hit from the forwards was Carl Soderberg from the Colorado Avalanche. Oddly enough, Soderberg has the unique distinction of being the worst player the Knights could take, having scored just 14 points in 80 games last season on a long-term, $4.75 million contract, and possibly being the best player the Knights could take, because he has three 40+ point seasons under his belt.
Benoit Pouliot and his $4 million contract and 14 points was an obvious choice from the Edmonton Oilers. The Boston Bruins handed me a gift: a choice between Jimmy Hayes and Matt Beleskey, both signed through at least next season on truly terrible contracts. Beleskey gets the nod as the older, higher-paid player.
Then there’s another 14-point player, becoming a theme: Luke Glendening from the Detroit Red Wings. I was torn between taking Jay McClement or Joakim Nordstrom, who were both very bad for the Carolina Hurricanes last season, but landed on Nordstrom as he’s signed through next season.
The Knights get an immediate injection of leadership with the addition of Derek Mackenzie, the captain of the Florida Panthers, and Erik Condra, the captain of the Tampa Bay Lightning’s AHL affiliate, the Syracuse Crunch.
I thought it might be tough to find a truly bad player on the Nashville Predators, but like their Stanley Cup opponents, they had a knuckle-dragging enforcer on their list: Cody McLeod.
Rounding out the lineup is Chris Stewart from the Minnesota Wild, Jared Boll from the Anaheim Ducks, Nicolas Deslauriers from the Buffalo Sabres, Matt Puempel from the New York Rangers, Ben Smith from the Toronto Maple Leafs, and Zach Sill from the Washington Capitals.
DEFENCE
Defence was a bit harder to figure out than the forwards, as there were simply fewer defencemen available, particularly defencemen signed through next season on high enough cap hits to reach the floor.
Fortunately, the Philadelphia Flyers left Andrew Macdonald and his $5 million contract exposed.
The Blues made things difficult by protecting their worst player, Ryan Reaves. Why did they do this? Probably because he’s “good in the room.” Mediocre defenceman Carl Gunnarsson will have to do instead. Needed more defencemen anyway.
Needing defencemen, I had to take Mark Stuart from the Winnipeg Jets over some of their lesser forwards. Likewise, the New Jersey Devils have plenty of bad forwards, but I had to go with Dalton Prout. And from the Ottawa Senators, I went with Mark Borowiecki, who actually played over 110 minutes at even-strength with Erik Karlsson last season. You guys, I feel so bad for Karlsson.
The Canucks ended up being one of the most difficult teams from which to choose, as they have so many temptingly terrible players to choose from. Jayson Megna, Alex Biega, and Richard Bachman are all signed through next season, but I have a soft spot for Bachman and I needed another defenceman. Also, Biega is doubleplusungood at hockey, at least at the NHL level.
Rounding out the defence are three players who aren’t signed through next season: Jamie McBain from the Arizona Coyotes, who was great for the Tucson Roadrunners, Kyle Quincey from the Columbus Blue Jackets, and Deryk Engelland from the Calgary Flames, who I chose over Matt Bartkowski because, I mean, come on. He’s Deryk Engelland.
GOALTENDERS
When it comes to goaltenders, Jeff Zatkoff from the Los Angeles Kings was a no-brainer. Signed through 2019, Zatkoff was expected to be Jonathan Quick’s backup this past season. Instead, he wound up as the backup for the Ontario Reign in the AHL. He had the NHL’s worst save percentage among goaltenders with at least 10 games played at .879.
Zatkoff will backup Antti Niemi from the Dallas Stars, who posted an .892 save percentage last season, but is signed through 2018 to a $4.5 million per year contract. Choosing him over Kari Lehtonen was tough, as Lehtonen has the more expensive contract, but Niemi’s save percentage was 10 points worse last season.
Meanwhile, waiting in the minors is career AHL/KHLer Jeff Glass from the Chicago Blackhawks, just itching for his first ever NHL action.
STARTING LINEUP
So here’s what we’re left with. Avert your eyes if you have a weak stomach.
Forwards:
Line 1: Matt Beleskey - Carl Soderberg - Chris Stewart
Line 2: Benoit Pouliot - Luke Glendening - Erik Condra
Line 3: Matt Puempel - Derek Mackenzie - Jared Boll
Line 4: Cody McLeod - Jay McClement - Ben Smith
Extras:
Zach Sill
Dwight King
Nicolas Deslauriers
Tom Sestito
Zack Stortini
Eric Boulton
Defence:
1st Pairing: Andrew Macdonald - Jamie McBain
2nd Pairing: Carl Gunnarsson - Dalton Prout
3rd Pairing: Mark Stuart - Alex Biega
Extras:
Kyle Quincey
Deryk Engelland
Mark Borowiecki
Goaltenders:
Antti Niemi
Jeff Zatkoff
Jeff Glass
The end result according to Goals Above Replacement:
That ain't pretty. This group posted a total GAR of -16.6. That means this lineup is worse than if the Knights iced a lineup full of replacement-level players. This is, essentially, an AHL team despite reaching the salary cap floor with 3 more than the required 20 players under contract through next season. By point of contrast, the Canucks' total GAR last season was 70.1. Even Colorado, who had one of the worst seasons ever, posted a total GAR of 49.8, which is appallingly bad.
But, if the Knights really wanted to be the worst team in the NHL next season, ensuring them a high draft pick, they could do it. They could be worse than the Canucks and Avalanche if they really wanted to. It would be a terrible idea, but they could do it.
Think you can make a worse lineup that still meets the requirements of the expansion draft? I dare you to try.
