When it comes to my favourite foods, I generally give a lot of leeway as far as quality.
Take seafood, for instance. Even mediocre seafood generally puts a smile on my face. I’m pretty forgiving.
But when it comes to French fries, I do not forgive. Mediocre French fries ruin my day. To me, there is a really short window for French fries to be palatable or I won’t even bother. They have to be really warm, but not hot, and definitely not cold. I can’t eat cold or even luke-warm fries.
I have another criteria for what I love in fries. They can’t be too big. I like ‘em skinny and long, with just a bit of crunch to them.
There’s nothing worse than big, fat fries. That’s just how I like them. I need you to know this before I submit what I think are the best fries in Burnaby. You might disagree because you like a fatter fries, like those giant ones they serve at Red Robin. They’re shaped like those huge erasers my mom used to by me for school. Eating fat fries tastes like eating an eraser to me and no amount of ketchup or gravy will change that.
So, here we go. The best French fries in Burnaby are at Joey Burnaby on Lougheed. They are long and thin and full of yumminess. They’re so good they are like crack to me. I can’t get enough.
They aren’t greasy either and have a nice crunch to them.
It’s that lack of grease that had Joey’s fries just barely eke out a victory or McDonald’s fries. Yes, I know, it’s sacrilege for a food blog to say anything nice about McDonald’s. Look, 99 per cent of McDonald’s food is garbage, but their fries are incredible and have been since I was a kid. But they do have a touch too much grease and you need to really eat them fast because they don’t age well at all.
I’m giving a consolation prize to the fries at the Hop and Vine Pub in North Burnaby. Before I started at the NOW, I used to freelance from home and the Hop was close by and great for taking a break from writing. I found their fries really good.
So, there you have it. Feel free to tweet at me about what your favourite fries are.
DISCLAIMER: I have not been paid to write about the restaurants featured here. They don’t even know I’m writing about them. I just like sharing my thoughts on food to people.
Follow Chris Campbell on Twitter @shinebox44.