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Here come the brides

At an East Side church, 15 couples marry at mass wedding

It’s Oct. 15, 2016 and there’s a storm warning. The remnants of Typhoon Songda have made their way to southern B.C. But friends and family dressed in their finest braved the weather and made their way to East Vancouver to attend a mass wedding of 15 couples.

In the sanctuary of St. Mary’s Parish, Father Pierre LeBlond stands in front of 28 more brides and grooms than he’s used to. “I’ve never done this before,” he said.

Apparently, neither has the city. Fifteen couples is a record, according to Vancouver’s archdiocese. Though in the Philippines, where many of the couples are originally from, mass weddings are common. Two thousand couples got married there on Valentine’s Day in 2012.

The 15 couples at St. Mary’s have been married before in civil ceremonies and some even have children. However, they haven’t been married in a church. As Catholics, they wanted to tie the knot with God’s blessing.

“It was the only thing missing for us,” said Sherly Heck, a former caregiver who got married 18 years ago in front of her employer’s fireplace.

Today, she’s even wearing the same dress. It fits perfectly.

It’s raining outside, but no one’s bothered. Fifteen love stories are about to reach a new chapter, stories like a factory encounter in Taiwan, a bar friendship in Burnaby and an office romance in the Philippines government.

mass wedding
Photograph by: Rebecca Blissett

Taoyuan, Taiwan. 1998.

Eusebio Noynay met Jiffy on the production floor of Acer’s computer factory. He did repairs; she made parts. Both were from the Philippines.

Eusebio would see her when he repaired faulty motherboards.

“That’s how our relationship developed,” he said. “We got free food and housing, but life was so boring there. The company wanted us to work on our days off, and we worked to send money to our families. But sometimes we got out and explored Taipei, the big city.”

And what drew Jiffy to Eusebio? “He’s one of the tallest in the company,” she said.

Joking aside, their relationship was tested by distance.

Eventually, Jiffy went back to the Philippines and Eusebio ended up in Canada. They were apart for three years, though in between, they got married in 2003.

“I wanted to prove we had a future together, even though I was in Canada,” said Eusebio. “I would call her, email, text. I still have a box of our letters and cards.”

In 2005, Jiffy joined him in Canada, and today, three of their kids are about to watch mom and dad say their wedding vows.

All thanks to faulty motherboards.

mass wedding
Photograph by: Rebecca Blissett

Burnaby, Canada. 2006.

Iona and Kelly Matiowsky were drinking buddies at the Firefighters’ Public House. He was the manager; she was a customer.

“I was just one of the boys,” said Iona. “He’d tease me, like a kid in kindergarten. He kept saying, ‘Why don’t you like me?’”

Kelly had this to share: “We were both in our 40s, and things work a bit differently in the timeline of how you proceed.”

Six years later...

“I saw him individually,” said Iona, “and he was actually a very nice person! He was responsible, funny, and smart. So wasn’t just into teasing girls after all! He could actually be a gentleman, and be romantic.

“I fell very strongly for him. One of the things he did for me was prepare a Ukrainian Christmas meal for me. He prepared cabbage rolls, perogies and pirozhki — little buns cooked with ham and cheese and onions — and he prepared it with candlelight, flowers and everything.”

They were married in 2014.

Iona and Kelly Matiowsky said their vows during Saturday’s mass wedding ceremony at St. Mary’s Paris
Iona and Kelly Matiowsky said their vows during a mass wedding ceremony at St. Mary’s Parish. Photograph by: Rebecca Blissett

The department of transportation and communications, Philippines. 1990. 

Gerardo Magpoc was the executive assistant of the secretary; Renida was an accountant.

Gerardo sent flowers to Renida a few times a week, so many that he got the nickname “the gardener.”

A romance began, but soon, Gerardo was transferred to the office of the president for a more demanding position.

“I guess the stress of not seeing nor talking to each other for several weeks took a toll on our budding relationship, so we called it quits,” said Renida.

In 1999, Renida travelled to Rome and visited the Trevi Fountain.

“Our guide said if you toss one coin into the fountain, you’d come back to Rome, two coins and you’d get married, and three if you want a divorce,” she said.

She tossed in one coin.

Sure enough, Renida returned in 2001. But this time, she thought of Gerardo, who she had recently reconnected with, thanks to the advent of cellphones.

She tossed in two coins. They were civilly married later that year.

A mass wedding of 15 bride and grooms was held at St. Mary’s Parish. Most of the couples were alread
Photograph by: Rebecca Blissett


 

State of the union  

In western countries, marriages are on the decline, and when they do happen, they’re happening later. That’s what a 2007 study by the National Bureau of Economic Research in Massachusetts has found.

As for why, the study gives many answers. A slowly closing gender wage gap. Birth control. Liberal divorce laws. Cohabitation. Even the advancement of washing machine technology, which made men less likely to marry low-earning women to do chores and gave more women time to pursue careers.

The change is reflected in our censuses. In 1961, married couples accounted for about 92 per cent of Canadian families. In 2011, the stat dropped to 67 per cent due to the rise of common-law couples (the Vancouver stat is about the same).

Even the Pope is more liberal now. At the Vatican in 2014, Pope Francis conducted a mass wedding for 20 couples. Some were already living together, and one woman was a mother, formerly married. Traditionalists might consider this sin.

Back at St. Mary’s — as a little girl munches on cheese crackers in the pews and another boy eats a sandwich — Father LeBlond gives a nod to the Bishop of Rome.

“I know Pope Francis would rejoice if he knew about today, but we forgot to invite him,” he said.

mass wedding
Joseph Heck and bride Sherly Heck during a mass wedding at St. Mary’s Parish where 15 couples were married at the same time. Photograph by: Rebecca Blissett

 

As a song plays, Sherly Heck cries tears of joy. A woman rushes to her with Kleenex.

Sherly collects herself for the vows.

“I’m sorry it took so long for this!” she said to her husband Joseph. “I marry you with no hesitation or doubt. May we have adventures and grow together.”

In a church beneath the storm, they kiss.

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