The scene is full of such raw, exposed emotion that the documentarys director wonders aloud if she should stop filming.
No, go ahead, the teenaged girl cries as she flings all of her belongings onto the bed in preparation for heading out into the world feeling very much alone. She wants the world to hear her side of the story, feel her pain.
This moment is a torrential release of emotions that have been swirling inside a suburban home near Surrey for the past five years and the emotions of the audience as they watch Julia Ivanovas remarkable documentary about the couple who bravely takes on the challenge of adopting five siblings from the Ukraine.
In High Five, which débuts Dec. 4 on Knowledge Network, Cathy and Martin Ward may not have realized what they were taking on when they not only agreed to adopt the children but allow Ivanova to film the experience. But open up their lives to such joy and conflict they did. Its impossible not to feel touched by what happens.
After Cathy Ward was seriously injured in a car accident, she and Martin decided not to risk pregnancy. Married for several years, the two nurses start the process of adopting a young girl from a Ukraine orphanage. Then they find out she has a sister. Thats fine, they say to themselves as Ivanov films them arriving in the Ukraine to be introduced to Snezhana and Alyona. But then the Wards find out that the girls have four other siblings an older half-brother and half-sister and a younger brother and sister. The youngest sister had been adopted by another family as a baby but the three other children also need a home. It takes a few years, but eventually the five siblings are living together again as a family, this time in Canadian suburbia.
Any story about children in an orphanage has to have deep sadness in its origins. Theirs is told partway through High Five by the oldest, Yuliya, and Sergei. Their father died and their mother married an abusive drunk. The parents fought and when they fought, the children tried to find safe refuge but eventually the tales of violence and abuse became known. When the authorities took away the four youngest children, their father blamed his two stepchildren. He beat Yuliya so violently she had to be hospitalized.
Yuliya was both caregiver and protector to her siblings. She absorbed the violence, and then the repercussions of their abandonment, as a way of protecting the others. But when she finally joins her younger siblings in Canada, she finds they have a new mother, one who they readily accept and, in doing so, no longer need Yuliya. And because Yuliya had done such a good job of protecting them, they dont realize her sacrifice. Here in Canada, their new mother and father can offer them so much more a secure home, food on the table, camping trips to the Okanagan, beautiful graduation dresses.... In the most heart-wrenching scenes in the documentary, Yuliya is emotionally abandoned by her siblings who are too young to be aware of the impact of their actions.
The Wards are also making tremendous sacrifices. Wanting to adopt one child, they are now a family of seven. The adoption process cost them about $200,000 on top of all the expenses of caring for five children. Cathy gets some disability income, but the financial burden falls on Martins shoulders. Its a burden he accepts with inborn stoicism and pride, even when it means having to work in the Arctic for four weeks out of every six so he can earn more money.
So many forces are at play. There are the natural dynamics between siblings, dynamics that can often be wrought with turmoil just on their own, especially as they age and start to assert their personalities. What sisters dont fight? Theres the wrench of being taken from the land of your birth and being thrown into a world, albeit with gratitude, where everything, especially the language, is an unknown. Theres the relation between husband and wife when the demands of parenthood eat into the energy they have for one another.
Thats why, as a director, Ivanova avoids judgement. She, with an insightful and subtle touch, simply lets you watch. My goal was not to sensationalize but to show the complexity of family relationships.
Ivanova has been transfixed by the subject of adoption ever since it was her job to help facilitate the adoption of children from the former Soviet Union. She did an earlier very Christmasy adoption story called From Russia, For Love, but 10 years later, feeling better about her skills as a director, she wanted to tackle such a story again.
When I started, she says in a telephone interview from her home in Vancouver, it was a feel-good story about a family fighting to adopt five children. Then, in reference to one of the final scenes, when Yuliya, who is now 20, packs her bags to move out, Ivanova adds, No one expects that a child you fought so hard to adopt would want to leave, but it happens.
High Five must have an ending, but the Ward familys story is still unfolding. As eager as the audience will be to know the outcome, the camera has been turned off after five years of filming. You can only hope. There is much love in that house. There also must be admiration for what each and every one of them has taken on Cathy and Martin Ward and the five siblings who are forging a new life together.
You can say the Wards were naive about what lay ahead when they adopted five children but, says Ivanova, you also have to praise them, and others like them. If it wasnt for their naivety, all these children would stay in the orphanages, she says. Because of this naivety, great things are happening in the world.
High Five was commissioned and financed by the Knowledge Network. It premiered at the Vancouver International Film Festival in September. Its Knowledge Network premiere is December 4 at 9pm and December 5 at 12am.
