Not many teens relish the thought of going back to school, but most are at least a little excited about some aspect of a new school year — perhaps seeing old friends or getting back to a favourite sport. For some teens however, the approach of the first day of a new school year causes intense anxiety.
According to Lynn Miller, UBC professor of psychology and an expert on children and anxiety, adolescents are often most worried about not fitting in or about being publicly embarrassed. What may seem like a minor faux pas to most adults, such as forgetting a locker combination or not having the right gym strip, is magnified for teens.
“Social embarrassment is just huge,” Miller said.
About 12 per cent of youth experience social anxiety.
“And that beats attention deficit disorder or even schizophrenia that gets a lot of attention,” she said.
For Vancouver’s Denise Wong, 23, the taunting she endured at school because of her hand-me-down clothes and weight made her extremely anxious about returning to school.
“I loved studying, but I hated going to that place,” said Wong, who is a federal government employee.
Before the start of grades 9 and 10, Wong’s thoughts of back to school were accompanied by the racing heart, sweaty palms and nausea of anxiety. When she approached her parents about her fears, Wong said they either dismissed her fears or they blamed her for the taunting.
“I didn’t have anyone to tell,” she said.
The only way she got through her high school years was by focusing on her assignments and doing volunteer work outside of school that she enjoyed.
Miller said some extremely anxious teens, (girls more than boys) will opt out of going back to school altogether and will do home learning or distance education.
“The problem with that is you can learn math online, you can even learn a foreign language online, you can learn language arts online, but you can’t learn how to interact socially online. And those are important skills for meeting a partner, making more friends and going out in the work place,” she said.
Miller said parents play a key role in helping teens deal with anxiety. Most importantly, parents must recognize that teens, and children, do in fact have legitimate issues to worry about.
“[Youth] are encountering lots of social problems and they have zero experience, or very little experience, and they need to figure out how to solve these with parental guidance,” she said.
Miller advises that instead of asking yes or no questions, parents instead ask open-ended questions such as, “What exactly is it that you are worried about?” and “How can we figure this out together?”
In the moment that anxiety strikes, parents can teach deep breathing.
“It actually counteracts all those physical problems that [anxious] kids will report — feeling light-headed, feeling nauseous and feeling sweaty,” she said.
Miller said sleep also plays an important role in how well teens handle anxiety.
“Teens are woefully deprived of sleep. Adults can sort of compensate and cope for awhile, but teens are not so good at that,” Miller said.
Electronic devices interfere with sleep patterns and so parents should take their child’s cellphone or tablet away from them at bedtime.
“Kids will complain about it, but you really have to continue to provide that structure in the house with clear rules,” she said.
Miller said there are situations when anxiety becomes more than a parent and teen can deal with. If a teen is consistently trying to avoid typical situations, such as going out with friends, or has a lot of physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches) or is having unusual outbursts, Miller said then it may be time to reach out and get professional help.
For more information on anxiety go to anxietybc.com.
