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Life is defined by our relationships

It's a new year-how will you live differently?

Before we scramble to fill our new calendars, get into the groove of new schedules, and perhaps consider a New Year's resolution or two, let's seize this time of transition to reflect on the year that has passed and take stock of our lives.

A year is a great expanse of time, though when it's over, it may seem to have passed more quickly than the one before. This is a near universal experience among busy adults. The older we are, the more accelerated the passage of each succeeding year seems.

But when you consider the 12 months of the year and what happened in your community-elections, riots, Grey Cup finals, parades, the milestones of your social life such as births, deaths, engagements, breakups, weddings and the illnesses of friends and family members, what you accomplished at work or in class, the people you met, the challenges you faced, and growth or transformation in your relationships-you experienced a great deal.

It was a great expanse of time. Before we let it go, we can reflect on our experiences, our relationships, what we have gained, what we have lost, what we have survived, how we have grown and what we have accomplished together.

Before we put out the new calendar, I like to sit down with the kids and review the year that has passed. We sit at the table and page through the old kitchen calendar, filled with the schedules and events of the year: family vacations, music lessons, games and practices, swimming classes, school concerts, holidays, birthdays and other celebrations.

Though we at first focus on the events and activities that filled the year, our focus is always on our relationships. After all, that's what life is all about.

We may have endured some hard times, unusual challenges and family milestones. How did we survive? Who helped us get through?

Over the past year, who made a difference in our lives? We define ourselves by our relationships.

Who were the major characters in the drama of your life? What did you do for others? How did you make a difference in someone else's life? This is one of my measures of success.

What did others do for you? The great and grand things come to mind, but there are countless little favours and good deeds that we easily forget.

Who are the people who always greet you with a smile? Who accepts you unconditionally? Who makes you feel good about yourself? Who loves you just the way you are?

How have your key relationships changed? How have you grown in your relationships?

And what about your relationship to yourself? What new things have you learned about yourself this year? How have you changed? How have you grown?

Will you live your life differently?

Dr. Davidicus Wong is a physician and writer. His column appears regularly in this paper. You can find more articles on this and other topics at facebook.com/davidicus.wong and davidicuswong.wordpress.com and listen to his Positive Potential Medicine podcasts at wgrnradio.com.