Sure, Portland is known for its beer, bikes and beards. But what’s a grizzled, 43-year-old buck to do with a heart full of nostalgia for the days of yore and, admittedly, a mild case of arrested development? Well, Portland has that covered as well, with old school attractions, vintage delights and retro charms to spare.
Back in the paddle
Part social club, part sporting venue, part stiff drink-pouring bar, Pips & Bounce is the brainchild of brothers Michael and Eugene Jung who began throwing ping pong pop-up parties around Portland back in 2012. Last year they opened a permanent location in the increasingly happening mixed-industrial neighbourhood of Southeast Portland with 10 ping pong tables and a full service bar and kitchen.
If you’re not a member or part of a league (yes, they have those), 10 bucks gets walk-ins half an hour on a table, paddles included. Best of all you don’t have to experience the walk of shame retrieving your ball from the other end of the bar after whiffing on what would have been a devastating overhead smash — ball boys and girls collect all the misguided missiles for you.
Kontrolled chaos
If less sweat-inducing competition is more your thing, and carpal tunnel isn’t an issue, you can test your videogame skills while exercising your liver at Ground Kontrol in the Pearl District. With DJ-propelled music pounding from the sound system and more than 90 arcade games, including pinball, from the past four decades blipping and bleeping like a robot orgy, Ground Kontrol is not for the faint of heart. But the drinks are cheap and you can still enjoy such classic arcade games as Asteroids, Burgertime, Paperboy, Q*bert, Star Wars, Centipede, Joust and Galaga for only a quarter. The way God intended.
On a roll
It’s a bit of a drive to get there, but your efforts will be rewarded with a trip to Oaks Park, a quaint and unintentionally kitschy amusement park, which was dubbed “the Coney Island of the Northwest” when it opened in 1905. Besides the rides, the real attraction is the park’s massive roller skating rink, which is open year-round and pipes in live musical accompaniment from a Wurlitzer organ mounted to a platform above the rink. While the rink offers high performance inline skate rentals for those who don’t care how ridiculous they look, half the charm is putting on an old pair of leather rental skates seemingly mothballed since the 1970s for the equally old school price of $1.75, plus a not-too-shabby $6.25 entry fee on weekdays, $7.50 on Fridays and Saturdays. Leg warmers and satin bomber jackets not included.
Tiki care of business
A trip to Portland wouldn’t be the same without indulging in one of its three tiki bars, each one offering a different take on the Polynesian lounge vibe, which has enjoyed a resurgence since its heyday in the 1950s and ’60s. The Alibi Tiki Lounge, on North Interstate Avenue, is the most well-worn of the bunch and has been burning its tiki torches since 1947. The neon sign is fantastic, the interior furnishings suitably exotic and the rum-forward tropical drinks pack a dizzying punch. Plus its nightly karaoke attracts a diverse crowd from seasoned locals to college kids to drag queens, all of whom will appreciate the sensitive nuances of your haunting version of Eddy Grant’s “Electric Avenue.”
Trader Vic’s, which opened in downtown Portland only a few years ago, is a relatively new addition to the famed tiki bar franchise, but it looks and feels like a Trader Vic’s of old. A word of warning, however: the bar’s happy hour drink menu is dangerously affordable.
The newest kid on the tiki block, Hale Pele occupies a strange stretch of Northeast Broadway that seems like the furthest thing from a tropical retreat. All of which makes this destination bar more enticing as a tiki oasis. The cozy room is part Gilligan’s Island, part South Pacific and just about all rum, with carefully crafted cocktails that quickly turn menacing during happy hour.
Couch surfing
Of course you can always take a piece of vintage Portland with you. While antique and second-hand shops abound, a good chunk of them reside along Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. And Lounge Lizard is one of the best and most eclectic. Open since 2003, the retro emporium is a treasure hunter’s dream with so much reasonably priced (at least by Vancouver standards) mid-century furniture, art, household items and lighting that it had to open a second showroom around the corner. That’s a lot of velvet and vinyl couches.
Stay old
This being Portland, there’s an abundance of retro-inspired accommodations to choose from. The recently opened Hotel Eastlund is a stylish $15-million overhaul of a 1962-vintage Red Lion Inn near the convention centre and sports an airy rooftop patio with sweeping views of the city and a decent craft beer list. Nearby motor lodge-turned-boutique hotel the Jupiter is smaller and a favourite of budget-minded travellers who don’t mind a little late night noise from the downstairs music venue and weekend patio parties. Or you could literally go old school and stay across town at the Kennedy School, a circa-1915 elementary school that’s been transformed into a 57-room hotel where guests sleep in renovated classrooms, can watch movies in the former gymnasium or sip stiff drinks in the principal’s office.
Accommodations for this story provided by Travel Portland. For more information, go to travelportland.com.
