Couples struggle with all kinds of issues on the daily. Whether this means mending a broken trust or coming up with solutions to fix problems, it’s all part of being in a good relationship. For those who still believe that great relationships should be effortless and “just happen”, you may have a rude awakening during your one way ticket to forever single-ville. Relationships, just like those you currently have with friends and family take time (if not more time) than you think.
Many clients that come into therapy want some kind of 3-step program that will solve all their problems. There is no 3-step program that will fix all your problems but taking steps to build up a solid foundation may hold the key to increasing happiness and decreasing conflict.
1. Take accountability
It’s not about who is wrong or right in a situation but owning your role in contributing to the problem is a way to decrease defensiveness and increase communication.
2. Immediacy with issues
Let’s face it. No one really wants to deal with conflict but sweeping it under the rug will just make underlying issues chronic. Deal with it now and find a resolution, it might end up saving your relationship.
3. Build trust
People often think that once trust is established it’s there. However, there are levels of trust and building that is helpful in establishing intimacy and emotional closeness.
4. Know how to deescalate hot topic issues with your partner
Conflict will arise in your relationship no matter how great it is. Talk to your partner and understand what they need in high conflict situations to get them to a place where effective communication is possible.
5. Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine for a lot of things including your relationship. It builds mutual bonding experiences which combats stress and increases feel good chemicals in your brain.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. She is also the author of a fashion and lifestyle blog Style Du Jour. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected].
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