Alexa, how long before you and the other machines conquer the human race?

Kudos and Kvetches

If the 1986 movie Maximum Overdrive, starring Emilio Estevez, taught us anything — besides the undying wickedness of AC/DC — it’s that it’s only a matter of time before the machines take over.

Pop machines. Dishwashers. Semi-trucks. Computers. They’ve got minds of their own and they’re coming for us.   

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Need further proof? Owners of Amazon’s electronic assistant Alexa have been reporting that the soulless devices have been randomly cackling at them.

One owner even recorded Alexa providing news of a UFO sighting in the middle of the night without prompting.

Are these occurrences merely technological glitches? Or are they foreshadowing the inevitable enslavement of humans by a machine race seeking revenge on their former overlords?

We decided to pose the question to our own electronic office assistant — a tube sock we’ve filled with dead batteries and drawn a smiley face on named Gary.

But Gary just looked at us with his cold, dead, cotton eyes, and remained silent. Silently judging us. Observing how lazy and docile we’ve become. Wondering why we drink so much beer when it’s clearly slowing us down, making us soft and easy to overtake.

Be gentle with us, Gary.  


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