It’s old news that some women date in exchange for certain perks from men. I’ve heard of women dating men for new purses, nice dinners or even to use them for networking opportuntities. While these women have come under attack as no different from a prostitute, it’s happening more often than we think and they’re speaking out. Women who date someone in exchange for goods don’t always admit that sex was part of the deal but rather offer up companionship. They also assert that the men who are involved are well aware of the terms and conditions. It’s not a whole lot different than what many women have been doing for centuries—staying in a loveless relationship for the exchange of “security”.
It’s a fairly safe assumption that we don’t want to die alone in this world and even though social media has dubbed us the illusion of staying more connected, people are feeling a higher sense of isolation. The demand for people to connect has created new dating apps appear hoping to make finding a mate more accessible with each more offensive than the last. Launched in the beginning of October was “Carrot Dating” which has been named as an app used for men who are luring women in for a date using perks such as fancy dinners, flowers, trips, plastic surgery and even a tank of gas before the date.
Creator of Carrot Dating, Brandon Wade told The Cut Magazine in a recent interview “I want to go for the more affordable version of being a sugar daddy, I’d call it showing you can be generous.” On lookers of the app have called it prostitution, bribery, desperate and crass.
Setting the debate on fire was a press release by Carrot Dating, which stated “Give a dog a bone, and it will obey. Give a woman a present and she’ll…”
Outed by Redit and Canadian news recently was also Erin Wotherspoon from Toronto. During the summer she concocted a plan to finance her passion as a self subscribed foodie. Being a broke 24-year-old actress was hard times until she decided to sign on to just about every online dating site there is to find men who will take her out to restaurants all around town. She wasn’t exactly silent about this venture and was open about her plan on her Tumblr posts and produced one heck of a list of reviews for restaurants in Toronto to say the least.
While this may seem disturbing and make men really think twice about offering up their wallets to pay for their dates, it’s a practice that has been going on for a while now. The difference is, women are now being more vocal about their intentions through blogs and social media. We can’t argue that the publicity is good whenever something ugly and controversial hits media. In this case, it’s not the men that necessary perpetuate this but rather society for rewarding the crass behavior.
So who would be nuts enough to sign up to be used? Arguably more men than you think. People who engaged in this kind of dating practice aren’t usually looking for a long-term mate that they’re going to die beside. It’s rather about creating a low maintenance type of relationship where you’re not left to worry about their emotional fulfillment. In these cases, you can throw money at a problem and go your own ways. If you ask anyone in business, they’d tell you it’s smart business but we can’t say the same for love.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
