The City of Vancouver got all lovey-dovey with a recent press release timed especially for Valentine’s Day.
Apparently the city’s been asking residents what their favourite thing about their neighbourhood is, and the answers seem suspiciously self-serving.
According to the press release, the top kiss on residents’ list was “the diversity and multiculturalism that exists,” followed by the ability to get around on foot. “Locals also expressed their love for all the independent stores and restaurants in their areas, as well as the community centres, libraries and parks that provide free resources and services to residents.”
All fine things, we might add, but we’re going to go out on a limb and call BS on the answers. People might say they love “all the independent stores and restaurants,” but apparently not enough to keep a good chunk of them in business. And who has ever uttered the words “I just love parks that provide free resources and services to residents”?
So we’re going to keep it real and list the results of our own survey on what we and other residents love about Vancouver.
- Getting the last available seat on the B-line and seeing that an elderly person without a seat is far enough away that someone else is going to have to give up their seat for them.
- Posing for a photo with the bear mascot at Vancouver Canadians games to show people you still have a little joy in your heart. And because bears.
- Inhaling second-hand pot smoke from strangers walking in front of you and convincing yourself you’ve accidently gotten a contact high. For free.
- People posting photos on Twitter of long taxi queues at the airport followed by all caps WE NEED UBER NOW! and knowing these Twitter people will be the first to die in an apocalypse.
- Seeing typos in the stories of newspapers you don’t work for.
- Food sample day at T&T Market.
- Finding a sweet pair of shoes at Winners that are attractive on their own and not just attractive because they’re on sale.
- Letting go of the indignation felt towards people at city hall who are getting paid, probably a lot more than you, to conduct surveys for Valentine’s Day about all the woke things residents supposedly love about Vancouver. Namaste.