Most people strive for a thriving sex life mainly because it has been linked to how satisfied you are in your relationship according to mainstream belief. Perhaps the most challenging factor for established couples when it comes to having sex is time. According to Dr. Harry Fisch, a urologist from New York Presbyterian Hospital, the average couple has sex one to three days a weeks in their twenties and twice a week for those between 30-50 years old.
Does frequency of sex predict relationship satisfaction?
Dr. Fisch emphasizes that the frequency of sex does not predict relationship happiness. Some couples are happy with very frequent sex while others choose quality over quantity. However, if your partner is happy with frequent sex and you’re not, it many be a source of tension in the relationship. Compatibility outside of the bedroom doesn’t equate to compatibility in the bedroom. He does note that studies show 45% of men orgasm within two minutes of penetrative sex which is often too quick for the average woman.
Can you have less sex and be happy?
Dr. Robert Weiss who is the president of clinical development at Elements Behavioral Health suggests that you can be madly in love and have little sex. This is especially common for couples who qualify themselves as being in a sexless marriage. “A sexless marriage is one in which a committed couple has sex less than 10 times per year”, says Dr. Weiss. Believe it or not about 15 to 20 percent of long term couples fall into this category. For these couples, sex simply isn’t a high prioriety. It really depends on the couple and what they see is important in their relationship. It’s probably important to highlight that studies have shown a correlation between infrequent sex and marital instability. That being said, sexual compatibility once again becomes key.
How you can increase sex in your relationship?
1. Try something new: It can be simple things that take you outside of your usual element. If you’re use to having sex in bed, take it to the couch or the kitchen.
2. Take a vacation: This doesn’t mean that you have to vacation every time you have sex but it does renew the quality of sexual experience you have with your partner. Relaxation and time away from work can also enhance the quality of sex you have.
3. Schedule sex: While this sounds unromantic, it helps you stay on track. Time can get away from you with a busy schedule and before you know it, it’s been a month since you had sex. Carve out a time to have sex with your partner. This will give you time to plan what you need to enhance the moment.
4. Ask your partner what he/she likes: Maybe your partner is in the mood for something new? Being open about sex and talking about it is the first step to a satisfying sex life. Good sex promotes future sex.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. She is also the author of a fashion and lifestyle blog Style Du Jour. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected].
Stay connected!
