IHOP’s rebranding campaign makes us weep with disappointment

Sorry, International House of Bootsauce hopefuls

Kudos and Kvetches

For some reason, the internet has been all abuzz around IHOP’s recent rebranding efforts — temporary as they may be.

More than a few people have noticed the new logo looks eerily like a brand of tampon, including said tampon brand.

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But mostly the idle chatter has concerned the impenetrable mystery that has apparently shrouded the letter “b” in the much-maligned eatery’s new name, IHOb.

Well, it was revealed finally with great fanfare that the “b” stands for “burgers.” What else would it stand for, you dummies.

That said, we would have welcomed anything beginning with the letter b — our dislike of the bland flapjacks of failure known as pancakes is that strong.

Besides, who wouldn’t want to waste a few hours of their sad lives in:

  • International House of Blood
  • International House of Borscht
  • International House of Bedsores
  • International House of Botulism
  • International House of Bootsauce
  • International House of Bastards
  • International House of Bedwetting
  • International House of Bobsledding
  • International House of Bacon iconography
  • International House of Bad decisions
  • International House of Beer-related health risks and poorly thought out food choices
  • International House of Body odor.

But you know what we wouldn’t tolerate? International House of Bechamel. That word gives us the heebie-jeebies. Try using it on a date and you will be sleeping alone that night. Trust us.






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