First we’d like to apologize for missing the lead up to Yom Kippur, which ends Wednesday night, making our apologies appear contrived. Like when our dad bought us a guinea pig two days after our actual birthday. Nice try, Dad. You can’t buy our love that easily.
But we really are sorry for the following: In high school we had a fake ID and on a band trip to Calgary proceeded to bootleg for our classmates. Not only did we pocket $2 on every $8 bottle of booze we bought, but one kid got so drunk he ended up at a bar by himself. Then he got even drunker drinking with a stranger who had befriended him, had his wallet stolen by said stranger and, while back at the hotel where we were staying, deliriously attempted to climb out the window several storeys up to find the guy who had stolen his wallet while we held him back and threw him in a cold shower with his clothes on.
Sorry, Alberta liquor laws, for flagrantly ignoring your wise ways. Sorry, high school bandmates, for profiting off your love of forbidden alcohol. Sorry, Jason, for fuelling your underage drinking habit, which nearly led to your death, and in retrospect we suspect was an indicator of future hardships to come.