When you’ve lived in the city most of your life, being stuck in traffic becomes part of your everyday routine. As a driver in Vancouver, you’ll be invariably met with construction for bike lanes. This can reek havoc on your schedule and your patience. Having to put up with long commutes have become a reality in the lower mainland as prices of homes have increased astronomically forcing most people out of the city and into the suburbs for reasonable housing prices.
While longer commutes are often associated to feelings of frustration, stress and a test on your patience, researchers have also linked longer commutes to divorce. Apparently, studies have shown that couples that have lengthy commutes (30kilometers or 45 minutes) are at a 40% risk of separation.
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How does this happen exactly?
For one, researchers found that longer commutes usually correlated with less time spent with their loved ones when they come home. Additionally, being in a bad mood when you come home doesn’t predispose someone to positive interactions. The erosion of self-care when engaging in long commutes also affects a person’s relationship with close others.
There also appears to be a “danger zone” with this phenomenon. The first two years of commuting long distances often yields the highest rate of divorce and as time increases, the rate appears to decrease. Couples often report being better able to cope with the commute as time passes by (5 years to be exact).
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The higher rate of divorce within the first few years may also be exacerbated if the couples are newlyweds. The first few years of marriage are often critical in terms of adjustment and couples often struggle a little after the honeymoon phase to get a good grounding on everyday life in a marriage.
The lesson here really is: If you have to move somewhere with a longer commute to work, try not to do it within the first 2 years of marriage, if you’re experiencing relationship distresses with your partner (the commute will only put more strain on the relationship) or find some way to zen yourself through the commute so you don’t come home miserable.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to amyvancouvercourier@gmail.com. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
