Lululemon lager is the beer Vancouver deserves

Kudos and Kvetches

Last week yoga wear company Lululemon announced it was teaming up with Stanley Park Brewing to release a new craft beer appropriately named Curiosity Lager, with partial proceeds benefiting the Stanley Park Ecology Society and the collective karma of all who drink it.

So, what could be more quintessentially Vancouver than a local yoga company stretching its brand into the craft beer market? Here’s what we’ve come up with:

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• Loverboy frontman Mike Reno releases new line of hemp headbands.

How Vancouver is it? Although the former Mike “Renoski” is originally from Calgary, we’d say it’s somewhere between “Working for the Weekend” and “Almost Paradise” on a scale of its Vancouverness.

How likely is it? Not very. Everyone knows Reno’s preferred headband material is made from an amalgam of women’s underwear that gets thrown on stage and honey-garlic beef jerky. It’s a known fact. Look it up.

• Gregor Robertson gets his eye pecked out by a backyard chicken while DJ-ing a farm-to-table event called “Cluck Fest.”

How Vancouver is it? Very. It’s more Vancouver than making love to Stanley Park’s Hollow Tree. Which, speaking from experience, we do not recommend.

How likely is it? Totally within the realm of possibility, although the mayor’s love of dubstep would put most chickens to sleep.   

• After growing protests from wildlife advocates and No Swedes in Captivity, the Vancouver Canucks release the Sedins into the wild.

How Vancouver is it? Not as Vancouver as saying goodbye to Ryan Kesler’s washboard abs last year because we can’t hold onto anything pure and good in this city of dashed dreams.

How likely is it? Judging by the dead stares of the twins during the playoffs and the way they circle the rink, hitting their heads against the glass, it’s time to put them out of their misery, rehabilitate them and set them free.

@KudosKvetches

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