Today the City of Vancouver issued a press release declaring patio season is in full swing.
“Summer is in full swing and now is the time to get outside and discover a new patio or to visit an old favourite,” commanded Mayor Gregor Robertson in the hot and bothered release.
So the mayor is a patio guy.
The thing is, as hard as we tried, we couldn’t find a single photo on the internet of Robertson sans shirt, soaking up the rays in all his patio-loving glory.
After typing “Gregor Robertson” and “shirtless” into Google Images, the closest we came to a pic of Gregor’s chiselled dad abs was a CBC story from 2016 featuring Robertson in a purple sleeveless tank top at the Pride Parade. And as our dad told us many times during our childhood, “A sleeveless purple tank top is not the same as shirtlessness.”
You can also find a few pics of Gregor's tank top on Instagram.
However, when we searched “Gregor Robertson” and “chest,” we discovered a Photoshopped pic on the satirical website syruptrap.ca depicting the mayor naked in front of a podium with the headline “Nude Gregor Robertson ruins Gregor Robertson press conference.” It’s a good facsimile, but we are pretty sure the mayor does not wax. At least we hope he doesn’t.
We couldn’t even find a photo of Robertson in a pair of gaunch, shorts or lederhosen.
What’s he trying to hide?
So we’re appealing to the internet. Anyone out there with a picture of Robertson without a shirt, tweet it our way with the hashtag #shirtlessgregor. We’ll repost what we find, provided it’s family friendly and not illegal.
Think of it as an exercise in democracy and a celebration of patio season, which is apparently in full swing. Namaste.