Skip to content
Join our Newsletter

"RELFIES" AND WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION

There have been many articles recently published linking selfies to narcissism or a narcissistic personality.
Relfie

 

There have been many articles recently published linking selfies to narcissism or a narcissistic personality. We've evolved past the “selfie” (def: taking a photo of yourself) and “belfie” (def: a butt selfie) and to “relfies” (def: relationship selfies).  There's an undeniable feeling of pea cocking we get from social media that's heavily emphasized on pictures. We often use filters to manipulate what others see to ensure that only our best is what people see. There's also an insatiable sense of validating when the likes start pouring in from the photos you posted.

Social media is unique in that never have we had the ease through technology to catalogue our lives in photos. The frequency of how many photos uploaded daily on Instagram totals over 55 million.  If the pictures you're posting on social media is suppose to be a snapshot of your life, are people really happy or are they just faking it? A recent article titled “This is why you shouldn't take people's Facebook lives too seriously” suggests that social media is highly bias when it comes to showing a real reflection of someone's life. The article emphasizes a “living honestly” mantra and anchoring to the present. The article seems convincing enough that people should live life without stopping to take pictures of their every move.

[You Might Also Like] Heart of Vancouver: On-again/off-again relationships and why we keep going back

While the article above offers some practical and what seems like logical advice, researcher Dr. Benjamin Le has found that the “relfie” is growing in popularity and sought to investigate the effects of it. He wanted to find out if followers are able to accurately judge your relationship satisfaction by your “relfie” and whether we people liked others who posted about their relationship on Facebook. Among the 200 people who participated in the study, over 25% had a dyadic profile picture on their Facebook and 70% had a dyadic relationship status on Facebook.

It turns out that most followers can accurately judge relationship satisfaction by a “relfie” and will also think you're in a good relationship if you declare your relationship status on Facebook. On the other hand, disclosing too much about your status through Facebook is a turn off for people and will possibly earn you an unfollow. Things that annoyed people included:

 

·      Over sharing personal details (e.g. “I just love you so much I can't stand it”)

·      Low disclosure mundane details on how you feel about your partner (e.g. “I love my girlfriend” or “Phoneless for abit, email me!” )

 

[You Might Also Like] Heart of Vancouver: Success in love may influence success at work

The research basically concludes that people are able to tell how satisfied you are in a relationship by your “reflie”. Don't worry though, a “relfie” won't predict your relationship success. Furthermore, it's highly unlikely that couples would post an unhappy photo of themselves.

So go ahead, selfie, belfie or relfie to your heart's desire and remember that a photo is worth a thousand words or at least a passing moment of judgement on your life and relationship by your followers. 

 

Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to amyvancouvercourier@gmail.com. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.