Feeling a sense of spark is one of the most common way people decide if there’s romantic chemistry. It’s what romance movies are made of where falling hard and fast is the central theme in the journey to finding the one. The truth is, while some people feel an immediate romantic spark when they meet their potential mate, others require more time for sparks to develop. In a world where dating moves quickly, we’re less likely to stick around to explore whether sparks will develop. The consequence of chasing the spark can lead you astray from finding true love and this is how.
We write off people who we don’t immediately feel a spark with.
We’re spoiled with so many ways to connect with people that we may not necessarily wait to explore if romantic sparks will develop.
We believe that we’ll “just know” when we find the one.
The widespread belief that you will “just know” fairly early in the relationship if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Most of this is based on how strong of a spark you feel with the person rather than a clear evaluation of compatible values and relationship goals.
We’re not patient enough to find out enough about someone to fall in love with them.
Time is one of the most valuable asset and we’re not waiting around to find “the one”. We’re also made to believe that we’re suppose to date a number of people before we find the one. These two factors combined create a sense of urgency that prevents us from growing relationships.
We believe that there’s always someone better out there.
There comes a time in any relationship where you know all there is to know about your partner and feel a little stir crazy. This can lead to feelings of doubt about whether this is all the relationship has to offer. However, keep in mind that the best relationships are the ones that we continue to foster.
We believe in fast starts versus slow burns when it comes to romantic relationships.
Being swept off your feet is a pretty incredible feeling but a love with depth is often developed through time and being open to new experiences instead of checking off what’s on our predetermined list.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. She is also the author of a fashion and lifestyle blog Style Du Jour. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected].
