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SHOWING OFF RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK LINKED WITH INSECURITY

Declaring your love for someone on Facebook is a pretty big deal these days. It’s really a version of cyber PDA (public displays of affection). We all have at least one person on Facebook or twitter that’s all about their relationship.
relationship visibility

 

Declaring your love for someone on Facebook is a pretty big deal these days. It’s really a version of cyber PDA (public displays of affection). We all have at least one person on Facebook or twitter that’s all about their relationship.  You have an inside look into all aspects of their relationship (the highs and the lows), every memorable trip and every romantic gesture their partner enacts is carefully documented into a public album of thoughts and photos.

As a person who has always been sensitive to the eek factor when it comes to over sharing and cheesy romantic attempts, one can’t help but wonder what is someone trying to prove by obsessively posting about their relationship? Is that person bragging? Are they trying to drive home a point about their relationship?

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Researchers from Northwestern University of Illinois took a closer look at people’s attachment style and how it related to what they call relationship visibility on Facebook. To a degree, Facebook is used as an impression management tool. We attempt to convey how others should perceive us via social media. This in turn can increase self-esteem and decrease any kind of negative perceptions out there about us. Apparently, your attachment style has a significant influence on how much Facebook visibility you choose to show. There are four types of attachment styles: Secure, dismissive, preoccupied and fearful.

“Anxiety reflects the valence of self-views; those high in anxiety view themselves as unlovable and fear abandonment. Conversely, avoidance describes one’s views of others; individuals high in avoidance dislike closeness and distrust others.”

Take the quiz to find out which is your attachment style.

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According to researchers:

-Both anxious and avoidant individuals were motivated by thinking that others perceived them to have poor relationship quality.

-Anxious individuals had high relationship visibility while avoidant individuals were low on relationship visibility.

-Anxious individuals may be constructing an image of their desired selves by choosing to have high relationship visibility.

-Anxious individual are also more likely to use more permanent forms of attachment visibility such as a profile picture status rather than more transient methods such as daily postings.

 

The lesson really is to be moderate about what you do. You’re not fooling everyone with excessive social media displays of affection.

 

Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to amyvancouvercourier@gmail.com. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.

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