Most people communicate through some form of technology on the daily. We text, email, phone, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to let people know what’s going on in our lives or let others know what’s on our mind. The openness of social media and technology has also let in much more noise in our lives.
In a new podcast “Relationship Matters”, researcher Dr. Stephen Rains was interviewed about his recent study on how superficial disclosures can hurt a friendship. Superficial disclosures in this case are “small, irrelevant details about going on in ones daily life”.
Dr. Rains gathered data from 199 participants on their communication with their friends over a 1-week period. The participants had to record the frequency of communication “episode” that involved some kind of technology. Participants were then asked to rate how much they liked each friend and whether they would support them in times of need.
The results of the study showed that friends who disclosed a lot (via some kind of technology) were less liked. The participants also added that their relationship with those who disclosed a lot were less satisfying and therefore would be more hesitant in offering support if they needed it.
As damning as the results may seem, its unclear what kind of social media habits these participants engaged in. Think about it: For someone who does not disclose a lot of superficial utterances on Facebook, seeing it might annoy them and result in the findings from this study. What about those who engage in frequent superficial posts via social media? Are they more tolerant of their friends who do the same? Does the degree of closeness with that friend alter our ability to tolerate superficial disclosures from them?
Our construction of identity has now widen to include social media. Much of what people know about us is conveyed through technology and what we see online can fool us easily. If you’re in a situation where your friend is driving you crazy online, there’s always a “hide posts from this person” option on Facebook because you can trust that technology has you covered.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. She is also the author of a fashion and lifestyle blog Style Du Jour. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to amyvancouvercourier@gmail.com.
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