Thimble-hating Monopoly, why hast thou forsaken us?

Kudos and Kvetches

We here at K&K have lost a lot of things in our lives. Hair, childlike wonder, the ability to drink a two-litre bottle of Rockaberry Cooler without getting hungover. But today’s announcement from Hasbro Toys really hits close to home.

According to CNBC, the joy-killing toy giant has revealed that it’s removing the iconic thimble token from Monopoly. Even more depressing, the thimble cull was determined after an audience engagement campaign with more than four million people voting on which eight tokens should be part of an upcoming redesign of the 84-year-old board game.

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Voters were given 50 options, including classic tokens such as the shoe (most frequently chosen by uptight people), top hat (douche bags) and Scottie dog (our mom) and new designs like a T-Rex (why?), rubber duck (father issues) and an emoji (please no).

No word yet on which new token will replace the majestic thimble, but it will, undoubtedly, be garbage. Just like the rest of this god-forsaken world.

@KudosKvetches

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