Vancouver’s mayor-hating snow complainers need to chill

Kudos and Kvetches

This morning, as we put on our legwarmers and pelts in preparation for our long mush to work, we had one single thought. “People are sure going to be pissy on Facebook today.”

Like the tides, the earth orbiting the sun and the Canucks early golf season, there are few things more predictable than Vancouverites complaining about the snow and, in turn, complaining about the city’s response to the snow.

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Not enough salt, too much salt, unplowed streets, plowed bike lanes. Nothing pleases people on Facebook more than voicing their displeasure with the city. Here’s a hint though: It’s getting boring.

We get that a significant portion of the population is not happy with the politicians at city hall, particularly the ones they didn’t vote for. But guess what, they don’t control the weather. Except maybe Coun. Tim Stevenson, who we’ve heard is a warlock. And no matter who’s in government, snow is going to cause traffic problems, roads aren’t going to get plowed as fast as people would like, the majority of Vancouverites are terrible drivers when it snows and taking a bus sure sucks at times.

So with that, here are a few gentle suggestions for those of you who are easily irritated and for the perpetually grumpy types who feel the need to constantly air your ire on Facebook at the slightest provocation.

  • Stop using the term Mayor Moonbeam for Gregor Robertson. It’s overused, unoriginal and shows a lack of creativity and effort on your part. It’s the equivalent of doing a Borat impression. If you do feel the need to disparage the mayor, make fun of his musical tastes, his appreciation of the band Rush and his refusal to accept our invitation to arm wrestle. Seriously, what’s he trying to hide?
  • Try to avoid the term “clowns at city hall.” Sure, Archie Bunker would have approved of the phrase, but once again it shows laziness on the part of the user. How about: bureau-craps? We just trademarked that, but we’ll let you use it.
  • Maybe don’t always pull out the bike lane card in your litany of gripes against the city. Like it or not, bike lanes are here to stay, thousands and thousands of people really like them, and constantly lamenting about them regardless of the topic detracts from your original complaint. In other words, focus your griping, young grasshopper.
  • And lastly, take a deep breath. Let go of all that pent-up anger that you feel the need to spill across the Internet. Have a cup of cocoa, and remember: Snow melts. Elections happen every few years. Politicians get voted out and in. It’s the cycle of life. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a few flakes. Try not to be one of them.

@KudosKvetches

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