Although the Vancouver Sun and the Province newspapers let us down with their measured response to last month’s chemical fire at the Port of Vancouver by neglecting to run awesome headlines such as “Smoke on the water,” “Port land blazers,” “Chemical reaction” and “Cloudy with a chance of death,” we still have hope. Namely because of Thursday’s oil spill in English Bay. According to early reports, a tonne of toxic bunker fuel is believed to have leaked from a freighter with the level of containment and environmental damage unknown.
Granted, an oil spill in English Bay, or anywhere for that matter, is serious and alarming stuff. But it is also the lifeblood of a daily newspaper, and serious and alarming headlines can sometimes be gorgeous poetry to our ears. Here are a few front page headlines we’re hoping we might see on Friday morning:
• Oil’s well that ends well
• Leak and destroy
• West End oils
• And justice for oil
• Everything’s not going to be oil right
• April fuel’s day
• Ship of fuels
• When the ship hits the fan
• Where there’s a spill, there’s a way
• Spilling me softly.
