Last year, after ending homelessness, the city wisely focused its attention on the pressing matter of birds — namely, holding a City Bird election so citizens could vote for their favourite feathered friend from a shortlist of six.
But as is common in Vancouver elections, there was controversy. First off, there were rumours that last year’s winner, the Black-Capped Chickadee, was heavily backed by developers. And do we really want an official city bird beholden to the very people who benefit most from rising nest prices? Also, who in their right mind could ever think a lowly chickadee represents Vancouver’s interests better than the Pileated Woodpecker? Then of course, there’s the sad fact that the Black-Capped Chickadee received 278,000 votes, which is nearly three times the number of votes Mayor Gregor Robertson received in November’s human election. In fact, nearly five times the number of ballots were cast for birds than were cast in the previous municipal election, if you really want to get depressed.
Regardless, the city has decided to hold another bird vote. This year’s ballot includes four candidates: the Barn Owl, Barn Swallow, Peregrine Falcon and the Western Grebe. Besides the unwanted presence of Big Barn in this election, we have another gripe: the absence of the Red-Tailed Hawk. If there is a more majestic, stealth, bird of prey, let us know. While bald eagles and falcons enjoy all the glory, jingoism and movie roles, the red-tailed hawk flies under the radar, getting the job done. The red-tailed hawk is a complex beast. According to Wikipedia, it’s one of three species colloquially known in the U.S. as a “chickenhawk,” even though it rarely preys on standard sized chickens.
The red-tailed hawk is also the only bird that Courier civic affairs truth warrior and lunch enthusiast Mike Howell says he identifies with. After all, they both sport reddish-brown plumage and occupy a wide range of habitats and altitudes, including deserts, grasslands and urban areas; during courtship they fly in wide circles while uttering shrill cries; and they are both carnivorous, opportunistic feeders that dine on small mammals, birds and reptiles, though 85 per cent of their diet consists of rodents.
Needless to say, with the absence of the red-tailed hawk, this election is not only a joke, it flies in the face of democracy. And we for one are not having any of it. Eat it, Western Grebe. And Barn Owl, you can wipe that smug smile off your flat face any time now.
If you want to take part in this bastardization of democracy and vote for your favourite bird, go to vancouver.ca.
