Moving in together before marriage is becoming more common today among couples. Between 2005-2009, two thirds of marriage involved premarital cohabition. In fact, only 40% of couples married the first person they lived with when the survey was conducted between 2006 and 2010.
There are many reasons why couples choose to move in together. They usually have been together for a while and looking possibly towards marriage. Some people also believe that living together will reveal your partner’s “corks” and will give you a real life perspective on whether it’s something you can live with in the long term.
Whether moving in together is beneficial for your relationship is another question. In a recent study of 280 cohabiting couples, researchers found that the reason why you want to move in together has an impact on relationship outcome. Those who stated that they moved in to spend more time with each other showed higher relationship satisfaction, commitment and lower conflict.
In contrast, those who stated they moved in together to “test the relationship” reported higher ambivalence about their relationship. Those who cited “convenience” as a reason for moving in together also showed lower commitment and a higher risk of cheating.
Researchers urge couples to be clear about their goals when moving in together. Being clear will lead to better decision making as a couple and in turn improve relationship satisfaction. Be warned that for those who expect that living together will turn the relationship into an engagement, it’s not always the case.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. She is also the author of a fashion and lifestyle blog Style Du Jour. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected].
