Many of us have heard it: “Love thy neighbour as thyself”. Jesus Christ says that’s Part Two of “the greatest Commandment” – Part One being, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength."
As a Christian, I have heard it argued that the “Love Commandment” supplants all the other Commandments up to that point, so you don’t have to worry about all those “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots” in the Old Testament. We need to be careful: for one thing, Jesus also said that He didn’t come to destroy the Law but to fulfill it; for another, when you think about it, you can violate any of those commandments – including killing, stealing, committing adultery and dissing your mother and father – and say you’re doing it out of “love.”
The Old Testament Commandments govern our actions. The Love Commandment governs our heart. You can’t have the one without the other.
Similarly, you can follow all the Commandments to the letter, but if you’re doing it not out of love for God or others, but as drudgery or to show off how righteous you are, you’re missing that point, as well.
But I digress, even before I’ve started. In the past, I’ve found myself hung up on this bit about “loving my neighbour as myself.” Do I love him or her as I love myself? There are days when I don’t even like myself: does that give me license to treat them like dirt? If I’m an egomaniac who loves himself more than anything, doesn’t this create an endless paradox, like dividing by zero?
Hmm.
A few years ago, I heard a slightly different interpretation. See if it works for you.
Love your neighbour as you yourself are loved by God.
We humans look at “loving” and “liking” as part of the same continuum. But is that how God loves us? As a Christian, I’m taught that God loves us all unconditionally, even though we do a lot of things that He doesn’t like. He forgives us when we ask forgiveness and gives us Grace when we turn to Him. Jesus calls us to extend that same grace to the people who do us wrong, pray for those who spite us and use us, and not respond to evil with more evil.
For humans, I believe, love is an unnatural act. Our nature is to look at circumstances in subjective terms: do they benefit our selves, our family, our home? Unconditional love involves putting everyone else’s interests ahead of our own; and so, I believe, we have to becommanded to love – even (or especially) the unlovely.
That requires us to overcome that nature and use what I call the “Nike Theology”: Just Do It.
CS Lewis, in his book Mere Christianity, addresses that conundrum by saying that even if you don’t feel like you love the other person, act as if you do. Make a conscious effort to overcome the natural tendency to look out for yourself or be repulsed by someone else’s appearance or behaviour.
When I was pastoring at Gospel Mission on Vancouver’s Downtown East Side, there was no shortage of people who were difficult to love. There was one chap, whose senses were so deadened by medication and illicit drugs that he would talk three times louder than necessary; a woman who would swear at anyone she saw for no apparent reason; another woman who was always demanding something more, be it an extra coffee or the entire bottle of shampoo; another fellow who was noted as an “enforcer” on the streets, who could scare the daylights out of someone just by breathing.
Inwardly, I would cringe when they came in and prepare for the worst. It took forced behaviour to act like I loved them, but before I knew it, I realized that I liked seeing them and the love that had initially been play-acting became real.
And that is how we love our neighbour: even the one who slams the car door at 2 AM or barbecues steak outdoors when you’re downwind serving tuna salad. Force yourself, if necessary, to cut someone slack, turn the other cheek, help them even when it’s inconvenient for you. If they offend you, assume they’re “going through some issues” and didn’t mean to offend you personally – even if they attack you and call you by name (and call you names). As you Just Do It, loving thy neighbour will become part of your nature.
Drew Snider is a writer, pastor and former broadcaster. He spent a decade ministering at Gospel Mission on Vancouver's Downtown East Side and has been a guest preacher at churches including Westshore Alliance in Langford, Westpointe in Vancouver, The Oasis in Duncan and Port McNeill Full Gospel.
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