Skip to content
Join our Newsletter

Taking pain seriously: Reflections on a Buddhist teacher’s death from drug overdose

On July 23 CBC reported the death of Michael Stone, a renowned Buddhist teacher, yoga instructor, author, and activist who died in Victoria on July 16.

On July 23 CBC reported the death of Michael Stone, a renowned Buddhist teacher, yoga instructor, author, and activist who died in Victoria on July 16. The article excerpted a devastating and beautiful statement by his partner and two senior students (https://michaelstoneteaching.com/official-statement-michael-stones-passing).

They explain that Michael died from an opioid overdose when, after unsuccessfully attempting to obtain relief from prescription drugs, he took street drugs to try to counter escalating mania resulting from a lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder.  In 2015, Michael shared ‘It can be hard to admit even to ourselves that there are times when the stability of awareness that we discover in [meditation] just isn’t there. When this started happening I’d say my practice needs to get deeper. But the truth is, there was a chemical change in my brain.’

Overdose deaths have sharply escalated in BC over the past couple of years due to widespread introduction of extremely potent opiates, fentanyl and carfentanil, into many street drugs. In testing of street drugs performed by local pharmacy STS in April and May 2017, fentanyl was detected not only in heroin and other opiates, but also in cocaine, crystal meth, MDMA (ecstasy), ketamine, and LSD.

In 2016, 967 people died in BC from overdosing on street drugs. The BC government’s declaration of a health emergency last year has had little positive impact, with 640 people in BC dying just in the first five months of 2017. In communities across BC, currently more than 4 people are dying each day as a result of this crisis.

In my life outside of the Zen community that I have practiced with for the past 11 years, the OD crisis and the war on (people who use) drugs, is an everyday conversation. I and most of my friends have had people who we love die from drug overdose. Many of my friends work in harm reduction services and politically organize with the street community, and are on the frontlines of responding to overdoses.

In sharp contrast, there has been almost no discussion about the OD crisis in my Zen community. Because I’ve been open about my past struggles with drug and alcohol use, a few practitioners have confided in me privately about using drugs, and others have talked about family members struggling with addiction. But mostly we do not talk about substance use in our community. And when we do, it is often influenced by the abstinence perspective that is so strongly pushed by society and also suggested by the Sila (precepts) regarding non-intoxication.

Fundamentally, the OD crisis is about how our society responds to pain and how we shame and judge ourselves and each other for wanting relief. As someone who struggles with mental illness I often feel like I am a bad Buddhist and a failure as a human being, that I should be strong enough to be able to lean into the pain instead of wanting an out from it, and that it’s my fault that I’m suffering.

So many people dying in this OD crisis are using drugs on their own instead of having people nearby who they feel safe enough with, who could administer naloxone and call for medical help in case of overdose. The impacts of shame, stigma, and fear of consequences are undeniable. And the societal consequences are real: disclosure of using illicit drugs can result in loss of relationships, custody of children, work, housing, and health supports even while other kinds of consumption are normalized, validated and applauded. We cause so much harm through this nonsensical approach to substance use.

Michael Stone’s death reminds me how even with tremendous internal and external resources, including years of practice and strong community and family support, nobody is immune from the impacts when pain becomes unbearable and relief is needed. It makes me wonder about how in our sangha (community) to create safe space for people to be able to talk candidly about pain, and how to make the struggle to find relief less lonely.

In the statement on his death Michael’s loved ones ask important and poignant questions that I hope will reverberate throughout our sangha in the months to come:

“What am I uncomfortable hearing? What can we do for ourselves and others who have impulses or behaviors we cannot understand? Impulses that scare us and silence us? How can we take care of each other?”

Joshua Goldberg is a member of Zenwest Buddhist Society (zenwest.ca) and Buddhist Peace Fellowship, and a facilitator with TransBuddhists.org.

You can read more articles from our interfaith blog, The Spiritual View