It was a star-studded night at the Oscars on last Sunday. Many of the presenters (the academy included) made sure that audiences were aware of the impact movies have on informing, inspiring and provoking thoughts. Remember the animated movie “Up” that took us on a journey of grief, exploration and growth? Movies certainly have to power to help us look at things in a new light and it seems like movies now have a lending hand in helping the nearing 50% divorce rate (the highest occurring within the first 3 years of marriage) in North America according to relationship experts.
Associate professor of psychology, Ronald Rogge at Rochester University is offering an alternative to simply hashing out your issues and going head to head with your partner about the issue at hand.
Rogge suggests that couples “have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships. You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving.”
[You Might Also Like] Heart of Vancouver: Domestic partnership is the new marriage.
In a recent study conducted by Rogge, he used 5 movies to help couples open up about issues the characters might face in the movie while drawing similarities back to the couple. Each couple uses a discussion workbook appropriately title “What’s your love story?” which guides you through a series of questions. The goal is to get the conversation started between partners and brainstorm for solutions to potential problems. This workbook serves as a skill building exercise for couples and serves as an alternative to traditional methods that may be overwhelming, stigmatizing and costly for many.
The results from this study seem tempting to at least give it a go. It’s apparently just as effective as intensive therapist led methods. Separation rate reduced from 24 to 11 percent after the first 3 years of marriage. The magic behind this method relies on the factor of insight alone according to Rogge.
[You Might Also Like] Heart of Vancouver: HBO’s series “Hello Ladies” lends a hand in dating.
“I think it's the couples reinvesting in their relationship and taking a cold hard look at their own behavior that makes the difference. The sad truth is that when life knocks you down, you come home and the people you are most likely to lash out at in frustration are the ones you love the most. For these couples to stop and look and say, 'You know, I have yelled at you like that before. I have called you names before and that's not nice. That's not what I want to do to the person I love the most.' Just that insight alone, is likely what makes this intervention work”, says Rogge.
We’re happy that researchers have come up with an additional reason for us to schedule in movie date nights. Maybe the academy will come up with a new category for the Oscars next season: Best picture for lowering divorce.
Click here for the PDF of “What’s your love story?” discussion workbook.
Click here for a list of recommended movies.
Amy Yew is a registered clinical counselor and relationship therapist. Tell us what you think and submit any questions you have to [email protected]. You can also tweet your thoughts on Twitter @AmyYew.
